A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i looked at my boyfriends ex-girlfriends facebook profile last night and was very surprised to see that he had commented on her wall (a space where you leave messages)... he must delete the posts she makes on his wall so i cannot read them or something because he has always told me that they never talk anymore.heres a bit of back story... when i met him, he was in a relationship with her (for about a year) but they went to different high schools. i was at his high school and we became friends... then best friends... we had an amazing connection and i was attracted to him but i never tried anything at all, because he had a girlfriend. so we just hung out a lot. but we talked every night and saw each other whenever we could. we were like addicted to one another. but it was never sexual, i would never do that. we didnt kiss or anything, just snuggled and hugged. eventually he and his girlfriend broke up and then he and i immediately started dating. we've been together for about 3 years now. but on her wall he wrote this: (I copied and pasted it)"Yeah I think so... it was just a honeymoon phase thing. I honestly thought she was like... the one for me... hahaha."And the message he wrote before it was this:"I don't know what I was thinking babe."And then before that:"It was nice seeing you... it was just like old times... I miss those days with you :("And then before that:"I was kind of thinking about you last night... ;)"And then before that:"Hey sexyyy what's up?"anyway... those are all the messages he wrote on her wall... I am very hurt... but i dont know if i shoulddump him or confront him because its technically like... not my place to snoop his ex girlfriends profile... i wont see him again until this weekend because he's visiting family in another city now... what would you do??? I have been feeling nauseous ever since i read the messages..
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female
reader, rocky9  +, writes (16 April 2008):
In my opinion, and I'm sure in many other peoples' opinions as well, this is an incredibly disrespectful thing for your boyfriend to do. I was quite a jealous person with my ex boyf and when I saw comments that he had left on his ex's myspace, I was absolutely distraught, even though technically he hadn't said anything wrong. But I knew that he had been absolutely mad for her.So from your situation its even worse, this is in no way your fault that your boyf is contacting his ex but he seriously needs to re-think what he's doing. You deserve to be treated with respect and honesty, obviously there's not a lot in your relationship if he addresses his ex girlf as 'sexy' and writes messages to her like that. I would be so, so upset. You really really need to confront him, ask him what the hell is going on. He should not treat you like this, not even his ex girlf cos he's with you!It may be hard to hear because you've been together for so long, but it's horrible to stay in a relationship where the other isn't 100% with you or willing to work on it.please talk to your boyfriend asap, this cannot happen again and you really need to think about where you stand with him. You have every right to know what's going on in his head and with his ex girlf! A relationship is about working together! If he turns around and says you shouldn't be snooping around in the first place, then just go back at him and say well you shouldn't be calling your ex girlfriend sexy and exclaiming to her that you miss her!It'll be hard, but you can do it=]all the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): It sounds to me like they have meet up or something. it could have been a chance meeting, but I would definately ask.
If he asks how you saw them, say that you was bored and browsed through his friends (via your own log in of course!) and came accross the messages he left. no harm in that!
Tell him what you saw and ask him what it meant.
I personally would be on the phone right now asking him what the hell is going on!. I would'nt wait till the weekend.
you need to know whats going on, but I'm afraid it does look suspect babe.
xx
Hope it all works out for you
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): please dump this loser now - i can't believe after 3 years he would treat you this way.. please please dump him!!! i think he has as good as cheated on you - its there in black and white.
He obviously enjoys the excitement that a new relationship brings.. yep if we have met our soul mate it is always good but the same thrills you used to get when you first met arent always there, its kinda different.
I think he enjoys the attention in a big way.
Don't be treated this way - message both on the facebook site saying they are welcome to each other and don't speak to this creep again.
Okay a bit harsh.. but look how he is treating you - after 3 years you should have a good stable relationship.. think about it - you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (14 April 2008):
 If he wrote them on her wall then hundreds of people could have seen them. They weren't exactly private messages. So he was always going to be found out. Anyone could have told you. So confront him. I wouldn't trust him at all... xxx
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hi
As hard as it may be, you should leave him. If you confront he would just deny it or lie to you. You deserve better than him - he cant go aroung trashing you like that. He lied and you dont want to be with a liar.Ask yourself the question: Do you wana give him another chance? Coz then it is a totally different story. If you think that he is sorry and you wanna give is another shot then just set up boundaries for yourlls relationship.
Mail me if you wanna talk. I dont mind sharing my experience with you!
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (14 April 2008):
 HEY !!
Do you have access to his personal part of face book? he may have had the wall private.. and you MUST confrunt him.. if you dont it will eat you inside and make you feel worse than ever!! Tell him what you have found.. i know it will hurt you, i know exactly how you are feeling, but you must talk to him and tell him.. see how he may try t get out of it..
GOOD LUCK!! Mail me if you want to talk x x x
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (14 April 2008):
 The whole idea of face book is that it's an open book (so to speak) for all to see, to get to meet new people and get in touch with old acquaintances, so anyone can read messages left by friends and family.
Unless he has a private log~in passcode and you logged in. (Just a thought)
If not then just tell him you were browsing and you happened to come across those messages?
I personally think you should confront him. Otherwise you will have this weight on your shoulders of not knowing what he's up to.
He needs to be upfront and honest with you if he wants to continue this relationship with you. You've been with him long enough to know him and know what his reaction will be when you ask him what it's all about.
Ask him in a round~about way, without showing any anger and pick the right moment.
I hope you sort this out, let us know how you get on, and be strong.
Best wishes.
BigSis xXx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 You need to get rid of him.
I don't think you should care whether he knows what you saw although I would put it as "I saw on your facebook certain messages that are NOT what I'd expect from someone I trusted so dearly."
If he asks how you knew and you tell him that you went on her facebook and he gets angry, you should say that you OBVIOUSLY had the right to be suspicious of him and him getting angry at you is not gonna deter from the fact that he HAS been sending these messages.
Tell him calmly that it's over and that you deserve better than to be messed around. Wait till the weekend and then tell him. I know it's hard to wait but it's better to say it to his face because he can't hang up on you or anything.
Get rid of him before you allow him to do worse things to you.
You are worth more than all that.
Take care xxx
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