A
male
age
41-50,
*monty78
writes:To make a long story short......I ordered ''The Magic of Making Up'' by TW Jackson. Its a step by step guide to win back the one you love. I read completely through the book, ready to follow the steps (one of them which is to not contact your ex) and what does she do? She texts me 20 friggin minutes later and I hadn't heard from her in 2 days. So I was polite and gave her a quick reply (being civil if you have to be in contact is something else he suggests). So the next day she sends me a funny forwarded text and I again give her a quick reply. I then decide to follow through in writing her my ''second chance letter'' as he calls it which basically is a letter agreeing to the breakup and that you have accepted it, giving them a simple apology and then telling them you have some good news, but not telling them what that good news is in order to make them curious. You end the letter by saying ''love to fill you in....but in the future. We both need our space right now.''While I am writing this letter today, she then contacts me (text message) for a third day straight with a question about her phone (lame excuse to get a hold of me). I give her the answer and ask her what she would do without me, jokingly. I get a reply that says ''I know. Thats the truth!'' Now what the heck do I do? Do I go ahead and send the letter not knowing what to expect, and possibly offend her after we have been talking and getting along. We agreed to be friends after the breakup. Or do I give in and open the lines of communication more?The author of the book claims he is available by phone or email but never responds.....go figure!What would you do? We have been together for over a year. I am confident I am going to marry her one day and I don't want to make anything harder than it already is!
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male
reader, Jmonty78 +, writes (24 January 2009):
Jmonty78 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well......i didn't send the letter right away. I haven't heard from her since yesterday morning. I sent her a text saying good morning and she replied back about a half hour later and I haven't heard from her since. I am going to be spending a few weeks in Chicago on business so I think I will go ahead and send the letter and see what happens. I'm beginning to think shes forgetting about me.
A
female
reader, lovesalias +, writes (23 January 2009):
 I think it is great you are communicating. I don't think that you need a book to tell you how to win your ex back. First analize the situation. What did she say when you decided to break up. What was the main issue. Have you worked on those issues. Are you ready to treat one another with respect. Take it slowly but don't get on her "Friends" list believe me it is hard to get off speaking from a womans point of view. IF you say you will marry her why write these things down then when you do contact her maybe after a couple light days lay it on her face to face. Have her come to your place or take her somewhere that is quite and you are alone...a clear star lit night watching the stars on a blanket. Tell her about what went wrong and what you are willing to do to change the outcome you miss her and you are ready to be the man that she deserves. Deep stuff like that. Yes she is still thinking about you hoping that you will say the things she wants to hear from you and mean it. Always cherish her and appreciate the little things that she does for you if she gives you a second chance...communication is key! Good luck! Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, xXxkinki_katiexXx  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Heloo...
I dont think you should send the letter now she has sent you that text because it will really hurt her feelings if she wants you back that much!!
But then again it all depends on who broke up with who and why?? So if it was you who broke of the relationship and shes willing to give it ago again then go ahead!! But if it was her and she broke it off and wants to try again.... the question youve got to ask yourself is do i want to try again,, do i want to be hurt again,, do i think we can make it work better than befoere??
I hope that helps :D x
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A
female
reader, HonestyAunt +, writes (23 January 2009):
If you are confident you are going to marry her one day this overrides anything you have read in a book, written by an author who has never met your girlfriend. I know it seems spooky that she contacted you at the times she did, but maybe this is because reading the book prompted you to contact her when you would normally have held back - which should tell you - communicate with her, it is the way forwards!
If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, which I'm assuming you do since you want to get married, you must, must talk to her. I understand how it is comforting to use something outside of your relationship, such as this book, to help you deal with this situation, but this really is just between you and her. Open up the lines of communication not because it may be the way forwards, but because it is the only way forwards if you want to love and be with the woman you clearly feel is the one for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): I just logged out but I can't resist answering this one.
CHASE HER! CHASE HER! CHASE HER! Why are you buying a book about this...if you love her, let her know and let her know without a doubt. If you don't, you'll regret never having tried with EVERY ounce of your soul and heart and mind to win her back.
You want to marry her, she's still thinking of you...DON'T GIVE UP!!!!
PS; Maybe she's reading the same dumb book!
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