A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I have a confusing problem with a guy at work. I think he greatly dislikes me, although I have no idea why. This guy, was recently hired about 2 months ago. I was friendly to him like I am to everyone, but he avoids me every chance he gets. I don't know what his issue is. I have never flirted with him (he is married, I would never.) I have only said hello to him or ask him how he has been. He ignores me completely and doesn't even reply! I say hello and ask my other coworkers how they are and none of them act like this. I really do not know what I have done wrong but it is causing me to dread going to work because things are just so awkward! I will obviously not say anything else to him but what would cause someone to act like this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2021): He is a rude moron, forget him, ignore him, don't even try to interact with him. You can't please everyone, so like the song goes. Just please yourself
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (2 July 2021):
There is no way of knowing why he is acting like this, and from now on in i don't think it should be a concerning factor for you.
Its a place of work, you are there to do a job, as is he also. If he chooses to ignor you then that's down to him. If i was you i would just keep being yourself and be kind and friendly to everyone as you have been.
If you pass him in the morning, be the bigger person and just say good morning, he he chooses to ignor you then that's his problem.
You have done nothing wrong, just keep being nice and polite to everyone.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 July 2021):
He is at work so, while he owes you politeness, he does not owe you social chit chat (although I agree blanking you and refusing to speak to you is slightly odd - but not illegal).
There is no way anyone can know why he refuses to speak to you. It is slightly odd behaviour but you cannot force him to like you. I work with a similar guy who falls over himself to chat to some people while pointedly and rudely ignoring others. Most people realize he is just a jerk and the ones he ignores are professionally polite to him if they need to have work-related contact with him, then stay away from him the rest of the time.
Don't let him get to you. His behaviour towards you is all about him and nothing to do with you. Concentrate on your work while you are at work, keep chit chat to a minimum during working hours and learn the lesson that not everyone we meet will like us. That's life. Accept it and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2021): BTW, don't share your opinions about him with other co-workers. Things often said in trust find their way back to the person it's about, and who said it. Then it becomes an HR issue. Just let him be. You don't need his approval.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2021): Seems to me he's just not the friendly-type, and just wishes to do his job. He may have a jealous wife, and he doesn't want it be said that he's too friendly with single-women on his job. He might have had a problem in his marriage of that nature, and he's not taking any chances.
He's married, and he's keeping his distance. No skin off your nose. Respect his space.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 July 2021):
It isn't you. It's him.
Maybe he is socially awkward. Maybe he is just a jerk.
Regardless, leave him be. Be polite IF you HAVE to talk to him, otherwise don't waste your time or energy on him. He obviously doesn't want to talk. He is there to work, not chat.
Some people are like this.
Don't worry about it. Talk to people who want to engage in conversations.
You didn't DO anything wrong here.
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