A
female
age
26-29,
*erewolfGirl
writes:Ok, so in one of my other questions i asked how to come out to my mum , ( i'm still too much of a coward to do it ) But i was thinking it was around the right time to just toughen up and do it because i just feel like it is , i'm 14 now and i know some people may think i'm still a little bit too young to decide i am gay , but i know it is who i am and i can't change it. So, could i tell her online (in writing) preferably on facebook?, cause i think it's easier and i've told two of my closest friends online , it's just i find it very difficult to talk about stuff like this in person, or i could leave her a letter for her when she comes back from work before i go to school. So, would that be the right way to do it for me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (8 March 2013):
That is great news! What a load off your mind that must be.
Best wishes.
A
female
reader, WerewolfGirl +, writes (7 March 2013):
WerewolfGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey! any answerers , you've helped me so much , i told her and she is fine with it , i don't know what i was so scared of. i wrote the letter to her and told her to read it at work and when i came home from school , there was along silence for about 20 secs and then she said " it's ok ya know , don't you know me well enough already" and she said " i always had an idea" , well thanks again.
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A
female
reader, WerewolfGirl +, writes (3 March 2013):
WerewolfGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for reading and answering my question , i shall take the advice and do it , It's very helpful :D
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (3 March 2013):
Hi there. I agree with the other poster here, that writing something so important and personal online, is inappropriate.
It is your family we are talking about here.
And even if you were coming out to your friends, it would still be much better to do it in person.
I also agree that writing in a letter, coming straight from your heart, would be a great way of doing it.
Even though you are only 14 at the moment, which puts you at about puberty, over time you could find that things change again, and you then become attracted to men.
It's hard to say really, what lies ahead.
Only time will tell.
The more time goes by, you will see for yourself whether your feelings change or not.
So go ahead and write that letter to your mother, and say exactly how you feel and how things have been up until now and just be completely open and honest about it.
Leave nothing out, of what you are feeling and thinking.
And mention in the letter - probably at the very first sentence and paragraph - the reason for writing the letter, as opposed to just saying it to her face.
It is always much easier to express true feelings in writing, there is no doubt about that.
You can say things in a letter, that you wouldn't have the confidence to say verbally, and you know that the receiver will simply have to read the letter to understand what is really going on in your life.
So for this reason, it is far superior and it gets all the facts right out in the open.
PLUS, it comes directly from your heart.
If you were to just say all those things, there is no doubt you would probably be interrupted by the other person and so you would not get out all that you really intended to say.
So that is another big plus.
I really recommend that you go ahead and write this letter to your mother, and sit there while she reads it.
And to bring up the topic in the first place, you could say to your mother first off, something like - "Mum, I need to talk to you about something really important." - And hand her the letter to read, right there and then.
And wait and see what she says.
She may be surpized, and then again, she might not be at all surprised.
And make sure when you do this, that you are not going to be interrupted by anyone else.
And obviously, don't do this if your mother is about to go out somewhere, because you DO NOT want to rush the process.
Don't delay doing this for one more day.
It will take a load of your mind, I promise you.
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