A
female
age
30-35,
*khm
writes:Hi, I was hoping to get some help with the situation I'm in. There is a man at the place I work at who I am very interested in. He winks at me every time he sees me and sometimes lightly touches my arm. He almost always comes to where I am to talk to me, but only does this when I am standing alone. Is he interested? I don't know how to approach this because he is a lot older than me.Also, how can I show him I am interested in him without blatantly telling him? I can't do anything too drastic because if he is not interested, I will have put myself in a very bad position.Thank you all in advance!
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female
reader, Abby_C  +, writes (10 March 2013):
A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse.
The trouble with winking is that it isn't always a good indicator of attraction. See, some people wink to say hello or farewell, sometimes people wink when they're sharing a joke and sometimes winking has a flirty or sexual meaning. My boss winks at me often and I know it has no sexual meaning whatsoever, simply because the guy is a bit of a prankster and often lets me in on the joke.
Also, some people are naturally more touchy-feely than others.
You need to ask yourself if he is flirting in fun or if it has a deeper meaning. (Try to gauge how he acts around other women.) Odds are, it is all just in fun. Enjoy it for what it is.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 March 2013):
 Well personally I think winking is creepy… I’ve never seen it as a positive thing. Lightly touching an arm could or could not be flirting… it may just be that he’s a touchy kind of guy.
You say he’s “a lot older” than you. How old is he vs you…. Because there is a big difference between 18 and 28 and 21 and 31…. Maturity at this time of your life grows exponentially not linearly.
Is he single?
What about asking him to go to lunch with you as co-workers?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2013): Winking is often a sign of teasing or friendliness. There is a good possibility that you are misinterpreting it as an advance, when it is not.
Ask him if he has a family: wife, kids etc. If he says no, ask if he has someone in his life like a girlfriend or significant other.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 March 2013):
 The eyes are the window to the soul. When you look at him just for seconds longer and smile, that's a pretty strong message. He'll keep coming back for more. Keep in mind that a lot of people just want to flirt and nothing more.
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