A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im aged 13-15, and i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 months,i'm still a virgin and i told my boyfriend i wanted to wait! but recently we were kissing and stuff and i had a short skirt on and he tried it on?Immediately i got up and sorted myself out and left but the next time we met he apoligized but then later that evening he tried it again!I don't understand why he suddenly turned this way! He always seemed like the boy of my dreams,i haven't talked to him since the incident and i dont what to do?Hopefully you can give me some advise?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 You have recieved wonderful advice from all the Aunts here. Now read the below comments over, and please take their well-thought out advice to heart and good luck, in all your future dating endeavors!
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 You need to talk to a trusted female family member who is older and has experience with relationships and dating.
Let her know what happened.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOmg im such an idiot i should have never let him come in:'{I should have dumped him straight away!he is not worth crying over and what you said was right he did just want to take advantage,im such a fool
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
Yes, bf and gf's DO spend time together, but from what you just shared, this boy is looking to take advantage of you.
I understand what you mean by what normal teenagers wear,but if you are wearing a short skirt that your bf can reach under, you are tempting him.
You are not telling him no, because as you said, you are not thinking. You are setting yourself up to be in a situation you might not want to be in.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the people who hav advised me thanks so much!i dont wear revealing clothes i wear what normal teenage girls wear!iv just got of the phone with my bf and i explained everythin and he was very understanding about it all and just as i was about to finish he askd-are you at home?i replied yes then he askd-are your parents there?i replied no without thinking and they he hung up and iv tried to ring him bak but there is no answer!i think hes cumin over but it ok right because he understands?and bf and gf are meant to spend time together right?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I know that you like him sweetie but at the end of the day he is not respecting you because he keeps trying, and believe me some people can be easily talked around and then regret it later. It sounds like you already regret what you have done with him and if you where to have sex with him it would leave you a mess if you are not ready.
Try not to be alone with him if you are drinking and be careful not to get drunk because stupid things happen when alcohol is involved. The only option you have is to talk to him and tell him your worries. Make sure he understand that NO means final and tell him he needs to change his behaviour. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
If you do not want to be worn down to do something you do not know IF you are ready for. Then dont.
Do not put yourself into situations that set up the scene to be groped, petted or undressed.
Do not be ALONE with him where either one of you are tempted to explore.
Do not wear revealing or "easy access" clothes.
Bring up your own plan of prevention.
But, the biggest control you have is to understand that if a boy does not respect the word NO, then he doesnt respect you at all.
If you have told him you want to wait, then that should be enough. Tell him that when you change your mind, you will let him know. Until then, he needs to respect boundaries and you need to figure out what you are and are not ok with.
Since you are tempted, I suggest that you make an appointment to see a Dr. regarding birth control and safe sex. If you are not ready to talk about that with a Dr., then you are NOT READY.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh i no he is getting to that age believe me,previousily when he has asked me to do things for him i did it(not proud of that)iv let him do things to me aswel but only under the influence of alcohol(also not proud of that)when im sober i wil only kiss and mabey let him feel me but not yano touch down there or anything?he has told me he is a virgin and that he wants to lose it to me!im kinda worried because he tried twice even though he apologized the 1st time,im worried he could wear me down to doing it but i dont want to leave him bcuz i really like him
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 July 2011):
You see he is reaching that age where he probably wants to start experimenting with the idea of sex. Is he still a virgin as well. Well if you don't think he will be a danger to you, then sit down with him and talk to him and tell him that what he done was completely unacceptable and he shouldn't do it again. Tell him you will make it clear when you are ready, but for now you are not and either he accepts that or else it will be over. If he really cares for you he will wait for as long as it takes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advise:)Aunt honesty he is 15,16 in a cuple of weeks-iv always had a huge crush on him and i dont want to leave him bcuz i reali like him-i wont say love bcuz i dont no!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 July 2011):
What he is doing is very wrong and his behaviour is very dangerous. You need to be very careful here. You have made it clear to him that you are not ready and that's great news because you are still way to young to be having sex. If he cared about you well then he should respect your wishes. But he is not he keeps trying it on which shows that he doesn't care about how you feel and that is wrong of him. He had no right putting his hand up your skirt without your permission. You need to be very careful that he doesn't take this further and force himself on you.
I think the best thing that you can do is finish with him and tell him exactly why. You are not ready to progress in the relationship and you are still far to young. What age is he?
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A
female
reader, Irish49 +, writes (14 July 2011):
Your body and who you share it with, is a huge decision. I am going to tell you to never allow a boy to pressure you into having sex, when you are not ready. The physical and emotional consequences are devastating. Unwanted pregnancies, stds are 2 large factors you should consider. If he doesn't respect your wishes, then you should think about moving on. Here is a good link you should read:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/virginity.html
Wishing you the best, take care.
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