A
female
age
36-40,
xanthic
writes:Run the hell away.I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys having his/her cake and eating it too.If any of these apply to the object of your attraction, don't even think about pursuing him/her:-already in a relationship-married-separated, but not yet divorced-plans to file for divorce, eventuallyIt doesn't matter how much you love/like/lust after them, or how unhappy with their relationship they seem. Make as many excuses as you like, but nothing will ever justify it. It's their responsibility to end the relationship before dating again, just as it's yours to know not to get involved with someone that isn't yet single, and may never be.Your situation is not unique. It's not guaranteed to turn out for the better, just because you think this person is different than all the other cheaters out there. On the rare occasion they do happen to leave their significant other, how do you know they won't just do the same thing to you down the line?The best thing you can do in this situation is refuse to be a part of it. Realize your own self worth, and don't settle for giving all of yourself only to get half, or even a third in return. You're only setting yourself up for a lot of heartache and disappointment.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (11 July 2010):
xanthic is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ritasanyal, the point I'm trying to make here is that it's more trouble than it's worth. Besides, as I said, how does one know the married/attached person in question won't cheat on the one they're already cheating with? There's no way to know.
Also, I feel it's incredibly selfish for anyone to pursue a person they know is unavailable, just as it's selfish for the attached person to willingly seek other relationships. No matter how much they may be attracted to you, it's not right. No excuses can be made.
A
female
reader, Ritasanyal +, writes (10 July 2010):
No matter how simple a relation may look on the surface - it may not always be!!!
If a man is married or taken and is equally attracted to you as you are....lie back and enjoy it till it lasts.
You don't want anything more.
Never look into his personal things or have a keen desire to know what his he doing or who he is with
Keep the relationship simple and focus your energy on keeping your self esteem high.
When the novelty of the relationship evaporates- you should be able to dust your hand and walk away with head held high and don't ever look back
This simple logic will keep your sanity alive - god bless!
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A
female
reader, Logicgirl  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 Duh, its an article, not a queation. Yes, when you realized your feeling, run as fast as hell away from it. Because it will bring you nothing but heartbreak and sorrow.
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A
female
reader, Logicgirl +, writes (10 July 2010):
You are so right. Being the third person in a relationship and causing the couple to break up, it will bring the person heartbreak and regret. You will look down on yourself and get depressed, better run away from these kind of thing instead of getteing involved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): I know how you feel asI am in the same situation. Do not let the man use you. If you like him, tell him or he will never know. He is happy in is relationship he will stay. If not he willpursue you. If he really likes you he will pursue you and leave the person he is with.Do not give in easy, play very hard to get.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (9 July 2010):
xanthic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis isn't a question, it's an article.
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A
female
reader, nicewile +, writes (9 July 2010):
you didn't tell what is really you want.
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