A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband I are married 10 years. We have had our ups and downs. Most of our marriage has been ups. Within the past year and a half I feel like everything is one sided. I really do everything in our lives. He works at his job, but that is all. We have four children, I do everything for them they are too young to do everything for themselves yet. (They do have their chores). All I get from him is how hard he works for our family and how tired he is. I work also, but then I come home and clean, cook, do laundry, help the kids with homework, and then get everyone ready for the next day. Saturday and Sunday are my husbands and my days off from work, but never do I sleep in. He does every week. I am so tired, but I still never turn him down for relations. If I ask him or pursue him, he pushes me away until he wants it (usually once or twice a week). It is never when I am ready or not tired. I feel like I get yelled at by him more than my parents ever yelled at me. I love him with all my heart and soul and I don’t want to divorce or leave him. I have tried to tell him how I feel and all I get is yelled at that I am too emotional. Everything has to be his way or no way. I along with my children are all wrong. The only way I could describe him the best is like Archie Bunker. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Most likely your husband has been like this for the past 10 years.
Why did you choose to have four kids? Are their twins in there?
Your husband most likely will never change. You have to change yourself, if you do not want this to stay like this any longer.
I can't see him listening to you. You need to stand your ground. Can you support yourself and your kids without your husband?
It is pretty good that you both have saturdays and sundays off, that is a good break considering you have four kids.
Can your parents help? Oh even better, can his parents help?
Is he over weight? Maybe that's making him tired. Personally, your going to have to hold the ship together until your children are older and they can help you. He might one day see what you do, but over 10 years, you might want to seek marriage counciling before divorce if you are sick of it.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 If he tells you that you are emotional, tell him that he is right. You are emotional but that is reasonable. Why is he so emotionless? Why does he feel no empathy towards your stress? You are his wife not his servant, make him see that. If he yells, do not yell at him, make him see how vain he is being. If he gets no aggression in return, nothing will feed his anger and it will die down. Ask him why he feels he needs to yell at you when all you want is to be happy. Understand him and make sure he understands you. If he helps you, you will be happy and if you are happy, will he not find some sort of relief from all this arguing?
I hope that helps.
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