A
female
age
30-35,
*heOneWhoNeedsAnswers
writes:My mom has this boyfriend who I really just dislike. He's mean and yells and gets mad for the smallest reasons, like forgeting to put aways a plate. And my mom is trying to make me like him better then my own father but thats not going to happen ever. She always takes his side and for some reason I think she would choose him over us. But I feel like she already has. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Dont go running to your dad or you will have the situation blown out of proportion. I know, my ex makes a mountain out of a mole hill every time. I'm with Uncle Phil on this one, but i do think you need to have a chat with your mum and let her know how you feel. She has to listen to you, if not then have a chat with someone at your school, some one neutral who can put the whole thing into a better prospective. Try and let out around the house a bit more, dont expect your mum to have to do everything. Show a good example infront of her bloke. Your mum brought you up so let it be known how good you have turned out at her hands. Make more effort to try and keep things running smooth. I know it is not easy but one day you will be gone, flown the nest, leaving mum and her bloke on their own. So help your mum as much as you can, but talk to her about this first.
take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): I can just about picture the scenario, and I don't think it was caused by just one plate!
The kitchen is in a mess because there's dirty dishes all over the place, the dishwasher is full of dirty dishes and no-one has bothered to switch it on.
Your mom comes home, sees the state of the place and the boyfriend gets it in the neck because of all the mess. The boyfriend then has a go at the cause of the mess, which is probably you and your sibling because you forgot to put away a plate (or two), or put your dirty clothes in the washing machine instead of on the floor, that sort of thing.
Trust me, your mom will never, ever, choose a boyfriend over her kids. No mother I know would ever do that. If she had to choose between him and you, you'd come out top every time.
However, at your age you should be doing your bit to help out around the house instead of expecting everyone else to tidy up after you.
Phil
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A
female
reader, kutie0712 +, writes (10 November 2007):
Tell your mum how you feel and speak to your dad and see if you can live with him for a bit it should be up to you were you live. if it is going to help living with your dad go for it, then maybe your mum will understand how you feel.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Do you ever speak to your dad about this? You can always talk to a counselor at school. I live in a different city than my kids did. I got a call one evening, their mom and her bed buddy were fighting. My daughter asked me to come right away and pick her up. I couldn't do so, but was able to talk to her mom I let her know the next time this BS happened with my kids in her home, I would be calling the authorities and doing a child welfare check.
Your mom is the one who's in charge of discipline. If their not married, he doesn't have any right to scold you or have any rights with you. Yelling like he does is not good either. If that happened in my home, there would be a quick stop to it.
I urge you to speak to a counselor at your school and they can help you if needed on what to do further in this situation.
Take care.
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