A
female
age
36-40,
*airygurl
writes:Hi Guys, I'm 20 years old, I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 5years bout 2months ago... My problem is sex.... I just dont think I want it... I would never go near my boyfriend in bed he would always have to come over to me first, I would never touch him and this really annoyed him he couldnt understand why i didnt want to touch him, saying I must be a freak...its like i'm afraid, or have no confidence whatsoever..Now i'm with this guy and all I can think about is wanting to sleep with him but i'm soooo afraid that im gonna end up the same way as I was i really want to be able to have a normal healthy sex life with him. any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated xxx
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broke up, confidence, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Sex is more than just the physical act. I'm not sure why you broke up with the other guy of 5 years, but if you weren't happy with him then thats probably why you didnt want to have sex with him or touch him. I had an abusive boyfriend in the past and he made me physically ill to look at him, let alone have sex with him. If this new guy makes you feel good and you really enjoy being with him, Im sure you won't have the same reaction as you did with the guy prior.
A
female
reader, fairygurl +, writes (10 November 2007):
fairygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i mean i did sleep with me ex i was just never really in to it like... wouldnt have bothered me...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Sex is good, but after a bit of thought, is kind of complicated even in the best of situations. Regrettably, common perceptions (specially media) make it look as if it was a pleasure freebie. I had a similar experience. Every time I thought I was close enough to have sex with someone, I had a good portion of me that didn't really wanted it. This really freaked me out--I'm a guy!, I'm supposed to want it!--, instead I thought about reasons not to have sex. I decided to honor my guts. Eventually my desire for someone grew to the point when it surpassed my worries, and it was good. Bottom line: give yourself all the time in the world. These kind of feelings just guarantee you'll have a great reward in due time.
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