A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriends ex told her that he likes her. They were together maybe 2 months and nothing serious. We're together 7 now. He told her 2 weeks ago or so. Recently then, he was talking to her friend and said to her "i want to tell her again incase she forgot" - what the hell?My reaction would be: what a weirdo, poor chancer, good luck to him in life. This is my issue: we have different circles of friends and her female friend puts pictures up of their parties and get togethers etc on a social networking site we use. I sometimes see in these pics stuff like him giving her a shoulder massage, him giving her a piggyback, her wearing his jumper or jacket, or general flirty things like that. I know for a fact that all of these things are initiated by her. We are deeply in love, and I trust her completely. I know she wouldn't cheat or anything like that, but this just really bugs me. I said it to her about the shoulder massage picture and she acted brilliantly and said she wouldn't do it again knowing that it hurt me. She talks of how weird he is wanting to tell her he likes her a second time, but then I see a picture of him giving her a piggyback - petty maybe, but it is flirty behaviour, and it's obviously going to lead him on!! I know it is him with the problem here but it's bothering me that she keeps acting this way towards him which will lead him on, even though she said she wanted to completely avoid the situation. She brushed him off when he told her, so what in hells name is he trying to accomplish!? I wanted to tell him to headoff myself and to keep his problems away from us, but she didn't want me to and I respect that!I don't want to mention it to her again with the risk of sounding protective, needy, clingy etc.But I said to myself that if in future photos there's something like that going on I will bring it up again.External input would be nice :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think I'll just bring it up if it happens again :) Thanks all.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 This flirty behaviour could have reiginited his feelings but you have told her of your concern, her response was positive and you were happy about that and thats fine unless you see any more flirty photos but unless you do I would accept her assurances. If he has a problem it should not last too much longer as she has made her feelings clear to him and with no more flirty behaviour means he will get the message soon.
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A
female
reader, airn230  +, writes (28 June 2009):
It sounds to me like your girl likes to be wanted., and it seems like she is seeking him out at these partys to have multiple pic taken together. It is hard to blame her ex when you think she is initiating this behavior, and as you said confusing him. Although you don't think she would act on this behavior by cheating, it is still disrespectful to you. Although you don't think she doing anything wrong she is being disrespectful of your feelings. Part of loving someone is also having respect for that person, and yes you will sound needy, especially to her friends, but this is between you and her., so tell her.
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A
male
reader, Luaris +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Wow dude I have the same problem. Im only 16 but the same problem word for word. I however eventually went down the road of seeming protective, clingy, etc. and repeatedly brought things that she would do up in arguments. All she would say is "Its nothing serious" and then nothing hapened. Eventually I broke up with her and regretted not doing it sooner. I think maybe you do in fact need to bring it up and tell her you are contemplating walking out if things dont improve. If that is how you feel. All Im saying is this is too eerily close to what I went thru and even tho im not you and my ex-gf isnt her hey still sound pretty similar.
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