A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex were together for 2yrs, and we have been split up for 4 months now. Well its not only the two of us, he has a daughter as well. We had plans of marriage and kids the big happy family thing... His daughter calls me mom beacuse I am the only mother figure in her life and of course we were a family I did the whole mommy role and still partially am...Well I had controlling issues, and one day he just couldnt take it anymore and said he was going out and he'd be home at so and so time, which he was But for the first time he actually went after I told him No, I was furious! I now realize i shouldnt have!! I should have just accepted it, it was only 2hrs that he was gone!! I took it to a whole other level and left him, he went to work the following morning and I took all my things and left!I have been trying to work things out but Im getting no where.. First month we both talked everyday cried and talked about how painful it was to be separated.. second month we hung out often I slept over all the time we started doing our family things together again it was nice, my bday came around he made it so special sent flowers and i love you balloons to my job, took me shopping just made me feel great! Month 3 we went to dinner once and that was it, he turned cold on me.... month 4 was so depressing he moved out of our old place with a friend (i know the guy friend) and just completly got so mean towards me saying he still needs to figure out what he wants.. we all got together for Christmas and still went to the movies and stuff... I see him every now and then when I go over his moms, or he invites me over.. We text but this past week I was just so fed up already how its going no where...So I asked him to tell me what he wants that I need to know! And he got upset and said I upset him, I left him, so its all my fault things are the way they are... and that Im only upset beacuse Im finally not getting my way. He said to leave him alone and I hung up on him... We didnt talk for a few days then Sunday morning I called and asked what time he could srop off his daughter so I could see her... Why did he invited me to the movies???? Stupidly I went we had a great time. That night I just got so upset cuz it was all over she stayed at his moms, I went hom, he went home.. our family came to reality we don't all sleep under the same roof anymore.So I got upset and texted him that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore that he needs to leave me alone. I dont want to see him, it hurts too much. And that Im going to start treating him the way he treats me. He got upset and said "Fine enjoy your life and stay away from my daughter" Ughh!! I can't stay away from her, it will kill me she is my daughter too...So I just let it go... now today he calls my job after I asked him not to call me and he wants to know what were going to do with the "play station" we both paid for it, so he said to pay him what he put into it and I said no just to give it to me.. We cant come to an agreement BUT I did mention Im going to see my daughter tomorrow and he didn't tell me no. So what the hell does he want???? Im so sick of being the hurt one supposably he said its not easy for him either..b.s cuz if he really meant that he'd be trying to work things out so we don't have to go through this mess....What do I do??
View related questions:
christmas, flowers, I love you, moved out, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice Redsox29...
A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (5 January 2010):
Wow, this is tough for you I'm sure. I'm sure it's hard for him too. You both have spent a lot of time together and you have weaved your lives together so that's what makes this so difficult. No one likes change. But you both maybe need to sit down, just the two of you, and talk about how you can continue the relationship with his daughter. It's hard to not be together but if you have these control issues, he isn't going to want to be with you. We all want a partner in life, not a dictator.
You both obviously care for each other a great deal, that's why the immaturity comes out, him calling you at work for something as frivolous as the playstation, and you wanting to know RIGHT NOW where things are between you two.
I'm really sorry that his daughter is involved, my heart goes out to her because this is going to be very confusing for her.
Quit looking at it like you are the victim here, you need to own up to the mistakes that you've made as well. Take some time and evaluate WHAT you love about him and you may be suprised at what you come up with.
Good luck.
...............................
|
