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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm confused by the signals my ex is giving me. We broke up in January, he has a gf who he's been with since we've broke up.I'm still in love with him, and i accidentally told him this when i saw him a month ago (it was the first time we'd seen each other since the break up). He didn't really react much, as at the time we were having a really good time as if we were still a couple, so he just let it pass and carried on flirting.We've spoken and met up a couple of times since then, but only if he wants something. He's a flirt, but i can't help feeling as though he flirts with me more than he usually does with anyone else. The thing is, i think he's using me as his back up. His gf is fiesty, and they argue a lot but he needs to feel secure. I am assuming he is keeping me interested in him so he can have me back if they break up, because he doesn't have the stability he needs in a relationship to make him feel secure at the moment. For example, yesterday he texted me because he thought i might have the number of a girl (lets call her Beth)i know who had asked him to call her. I asked around my friends and got him what he was after. However, he has close friends who he knows would be just as likely to have her number as i do, and i doubt he contacted them, as he wouldn't have contacted me. In his texts he was being really flirtatious, calling me sweety and honey and sending me kisses and stuff. He also said 'i knew i could count on you' when i got the number for him. Am i just being over sensitive or is he really trying to keep me interested in him to be his fall back? xx p.s. Don't advise me not to go after this guy as it won't make a difference. He may be a **** but i love him more than i've ever loved anyone in my life, so you'd be wasting your time. i already know that everyone else in the world thinks he's not worth chasing.
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (19 April 2006):
 Agree with Shania here, why ask for advice if you know you won't ake it?
You know what this guy is all about, and you know as well as he does if he clicks his his fingers you'd be there in a shot!
You're going to get hurt, but you already know that.
I think it's sad you are prepared to be treated this way, why don't you move on like he has?
Good luck!
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (19 April 2006):
 Then really its a waste of time giving you proper advice if you are going to refuse it.I would say that most of these agony aunts and uncles will agree with me and say...forget the guy,he is using you.He loves the fact that you still want him...it gives him a big ego boost...also,if he wasn't happy with his girlfriend then he would of dumped her by now...he doesn't have a gun to his head thats forcing him to stay with her.Dont you think that if he really wanted you back he would of told you so?...He is playing games with you...so what if he txts you with kisses and calling you honey...it doesn't make any difference to him.But...by all means,if you want to keep chasing him then i cant stop you,thats your decision...but you will be wasting your time...il put money on it that im right.
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