A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I need a name for my other half's two-year old child (boy) to call me. My own name isn't an option (the child's Mother would find it annoying to keep hearing my name).My other half and his ex had split up 6 months before I started seeing him, but we are trying to be diplomatic and think of his ex's feelings as a general name would be less personal than my own name, and she still finds it hard to think of her child having contact with another woman.'Mummy' definitely isn't an option.He has just decided to start calling me Mummy so we've had to say no to that but need to quickly think of an alternative so he knows what to call me.Maybe a nickname or pet name or something- we've been racking our brains and can't come up with anything.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 How about Mummy (insert your name)? His biological Mom can retain the original plain Mummy and You can be Mummy Sue or whatever. Lots of step-parents do it this way.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 In Italy many kids call Tata ( pron. TAH-tah ) their main caregiver after the mother ) . Like their favourite aunt, or an older sister etc.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): Thanks (I'm the original poster) and taken all the advice on board. We just came to the conclusion that a nickname or petname was better than my own name (he never tries to call my by my own name and doesn't hear it very often anyway) we only see the child once a week, but have quality time. Yes he does seem to be looking for something to call me that fits a role -so we thought a nickname that isn't just a different normal name would be good - and did a bit of research to find out what other people did - some used real name or Mummy real name, some nicknames. There really should be an official step-Mum name!
We were going to wait till he came up with something, but he has - Mummy! Getting a bit urgent now (so he doesn't get in the habit of thinking of me as 'Mummy') so that's why we decided to try something out with him and see if he takes to it. It's just been difficult to find something we can both relate to that sounds 'role-like' or just petname like.
Thought other people may have experience of this (like some you have all suggested thanks!). For some reason the Mother finds it easier not to 'personalise' me - understandable I suppose as she knew me before my other half and I were a couple and found it hard to come to terms with me being in a role with her child - also understandable. She calls me 'his girlfriend' (or worse!) to avoid saying my name - but to hear me as just a neutral name would be easier - anyway I'd quite like a Mummy or Daddy equivalent to feel I had a proper role name.
Lots of good suggestions here, thanks, but just wondered if any other Step-Mum names anyone knows of. Heard of Steppy but not keen on that. My Great Grandma was called Gang Gang because that's all my aunt could pronounce and it stuck and we never thought it strange, she was just Gang Gang. But I'm not a gran or an auntie or a friend - am another carer.
We did try Mimi but child wasn't keen (sounds too much like 'me' and he can't talk yet so 'me' is himself as he understands it now) and started calling us both Daddy - and now Mummy. He doesn't have any other role names except Mummy and Daddy so inventing one would be good.
A few silly things have come up - like Rodders or Fozzy but just not found the thing that 'fits' me yet! OH even suggested Missis but that has a meaning of its own. Funnily enough has found a name for his Uncle (Ding Ding) but can't quite work out my role other than Mummy or part of Daddy.
Looked up the foreign versions of 'Mummy' thanks but many sound like Mummy or just don't roll off the tongue.
Any nicknames or petnames anyone can think of welcomed!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): Your name, It's stupid if he calls you anything else, I mean come on, the mother will know he's talking about you anyways and it would only confuse the child if he called you 'aahdhfashd' and then your partner called out 'Lindsey' x
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female
reader, Bubblii  +, writes (23 May 2010):
I think the fact that you are giving this issue such thought shows empathy for the mother's situation but you are also overthinking it way too much. As a few others have noted children will come up with their own labels for you. A two year old is less likely to know people by names and more by their roles in their lives. (This is the person that feeds me, this is the person I go to to get my nappy changed etc.) It is entirely appropiate for you to correct the child when he calls you mummy, very good judgement. Just let the toddler call you by your name. Teaching him not to use your name would be confusing for him, especially considering that is how his mother is likely to refer to you. If he chooses to nickname you then let that be his choice, anything else seems deceptive. Personally I think CindyCares hit the nail on the head. The mother knows you spend time with her child, why insult her intelligence?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 May 2010):
The boy's mother will be annoyed if she keeps hearing your name.
But even if the boy should call you "Auntie " or "Nana" or "Deedee"....or whatever name in the world....she would still know that her child is talking about YOU,won't she ?
She will be reminded of your existence anyway- so what's the difference.Might as well let the boy call you by your name.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 May 2010):
 You know, your name is one of the most personal things a person can call you. If the kid wants to call you that (or maybe a fun nickname of your real name), let him or her! It's about the child, not the child's mother.
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (23 May 2010):
 I like Queen, or your Hinas, Madam, or your greatness, always works, another good one is Oh Beautiful Magnificent One! for men Lord always goes over without a hitch, as does Master, sometimes I will make my step kids refer to me as The Don! or Chengon! just a few helpful titles you can use!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 You can select from a list from the link below.
http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/mother-in-different-languages.html
It is the word 'mother' in another foreign language.
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