A
female
age
41-50,
*hiannon3
writes:I have a guy friend that I hooked up with once. He use to be a friend of my ex boyfriend. Now not so much. His oldest daughter is friends with my daughter. So we have texted a few times about that. One night about a month ago he messaged me asking to come over and cuddle. So cuddling led to sex. A couple days later he text me to let me know that because of bro code he can’t date me. So I was like ok no big deal. It was a one time thing but he has messaged me 2x since and we have hooked up. So what should I think “friends with benefits”? If I can deal? Cuz I wanted to date. Or booty call.
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booty call, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2020): He is worried about bro code? What a load of bullshit. He just tells you that so that you accept it is sex only.The truth is he is not interested in you as a person. You are just an object to him, a blow up doll he pumps into and ejaculates into when he feels horny. The fact you allow him to use you like this also means he has no respect for you now, as you do not respect yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2020): Girlfriend, your post is the definition of a booty call! He just comes around for sex, but gave you the disclaimer about the "bro-code." Meaning he can't date his bro's ex; but he can boink her on the D-L!
He cares more about what his bro thinks, than how he's treating you. Take a hint! You don't want to be F-buddies. Don't go sampling through your ex's buddies anyway! They will think lowly of you, like this guy does! He has made it clear who's side he's on!
You are a mature lady, and you know better. You answered your own question in your post; so it's not like you're naive.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (18 August 2020):
 OMG op, he has said he can't date you because of Bro code, but is willing to come over and satisfy his needs.
He is never going to date you, but will continue to come over for sex as long as you will allow it.
You are interested in dating?. Well this guy is not for you. I would ditch this guy, and move on with your life and find someone who wants to date you, and give you the time, the love, and the respect that you deserve.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 August 2020):
 He's using you OP. If you want to date, this isn't the man. He will use you as long as you continue to allow him to do so. Cut him loose and next time you get involved, make sure you know what the man's intentions are. FWB are strictly for sex. IF you want more then make it clear and don't settle for less.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2020):
 Bro code, my foot. Don't be so gullible, OP. What , because of bro code he can't date you, ... but he can fuck you ? Repeatedly ? What kind of a sh..ty honour code is it, one which says that you can do whatever you want ,... as long as it's behind your " bro"'s back and he never gets to know it ?!
You are old enough to know better, OP. This is , so far, pure booty call. If you want to date, I suppose this is not the right man.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2020): Honeypie hit the nail on the head. If he is worried about bro code he can ask his friend which is your ex if it is ok with him if he dates you. I would do that if I was to date my best friends ex. That is the gentlemanly way to do it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 August 2020):
 He isn't going to date you. Ever. the whole "bro-code" excuse is not valid. Because he HAD SEX with you. BEFORE he told you about the "bro-code"... If the "bro-code" meant something to him, he wouldn't have fucked you in the first place.
He is going to continue to have sex with you, AS LONG as you are willing.
YOU want to date, you say?
So tell him, hey buddy it was nice to have a few roles in the hay, but I'm looking for a serious relationship, not a fuck-buddy. So, I will wish you well and back out of this "not a thing" deal.
Don't SETTTLE for being his blow up sex doll if you WANT to have a relationship. Wish him well and look elsewhere for someone to date. He isn't the one for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2020): He only wants you for sex. He makes excuses but that is the truth.
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