A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My parents always used to favor me over my twin brother and they were really mean to him (they once said that they wished they'd only had me). They'd always buy me things but never him and I used to tease him about it (i know i was wrong but i was young and stupid). When he was 17 he had enough and he left home and I've never seen him since. 2 years on I've tracked him down and I'm going to meet him on Saturday so what should I say? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 As a child who was the less-favored among my six siblings, one of the most important things you can do is to acknowledge that your parents treated him differently and unfairly. He doesn't need you to validate his experience, but letting him know that you don't minimize his pain goes a long way in healing the relationship. Even though you were a kid,you need to apologize for making him feel even more unwanted. Let him know that you really didn't understand how your actions impacted him at the time, but now you do and you are sorry if you contributed to making his home life unbearable.
Whatever you do, DO NOT try to talk him into reconciling with your parents.
A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (26 March 2010):
 Just talk to him. Im sure he doesnt hold it against u, u were young. I sure once u see eachother what u want to say will come naturally. Tell him how u feel. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): Just say what is in your heart. I am the aunt to 13 year old boy/girl twins. I can't imagine parents so cruel as to overtly favor one twin over the other, could it be possible that being female you just got more "stuff" than he did, you know like clothes and shoes, girls always have more of that than boys.
Is it perhaps a possibility that your parents treated him more roughly for fear that having a female twin would make him a sissy? This is ignorant thinking, but their intentions may have been good, but their method was very poor.
I can't answer these questions for you, that is for the two of you and your parents to sort out.
I can also not imagine anything breaking the bond that is there before birth between twins. Surely you fight and fight hard sometimes, but that bond seems to me to be unbreakable.
Just speak to him from your heart and he will respond in kind, I'm sure of it.
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