A
female
age
30-35,
*rakandB
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been goin out for 1 year and 8 months. I used to be so happy with him and we never argued but recently we have started arguing more and more. Normally by this stage I would have broken up with them but i just cant, i love him too much and know i would want him back again if we broke up so there is no point. Most of the time we argue about really stupid things like the xbox but it just happens so often. Any advice on how to make things better between us?
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female
reader, LrakandB +, writes (28 March 2010):
LrakandB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone and i dont see him alot only twice at the weekend and thats it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): Sounds like a power struggle to me and perhaps too much time spent together without enough outside interests.
Give him some space and pick your battles. It takes two to argue, so don't bite and don't start it just to get attention or to make your point.
Tell him what you think or feel instead without accusing him, belittling him or nagging him. Ask for what you want and be specific. Guys need "instructions" because we don't come with "how to do" manuals.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (26 March 2010):
Dear LraKandB: So your are bickering then, right? Who is starting the argument, you or him? What is the end of result of the argument? Just trying to understand what is going on here. Get back to me in private post to my mailbox if you feel more comfortable answering these questions in private. I will try to help as best I can. I just need a little more information. Ok?
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (26 March 2010):
You need to pick ur battles. Sometimes u just need to bite ur tongue. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Zoe-louisexx +, writes (26 March 2010):
talk things through with your boyfriend and try and find out why you seem to be arguing over silly things and tell him how you feel about breaking up with him then try and find ways in which you can both spend alot of time with each other but without arguing.
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A
female
reader, GreenStone +, writes (25 March 2010):
Maybe we should try to get to the root of the arguments? Are they petty things that can just be talked about calmly but are getting overblown? Or are they serious, relationship-busting ones?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): hey i know how your feeling that was just like me and my boyfriend, i have been with mine for a year and half, we went through a stage when we would argue over the most smallest things, and i hated arguing with him, it really made me feel down, and at times i felt like ending it but couldn't because i loved him too much. maybe your spending way too much time together it usually causes arguments in most couples being together 24/7, me and my boyfriend stopped arguing so much by spending time together but not 24/7 like we use to, also when we do argue now i just walk away and avoid it (its hard) but it stops the argument... have a talk with him, tell him that arguing with him is making you unhappy and that you want it to get better, talking to my boyfriend really helped us and we got better, of course we still have our moments, but what couples dont?. i think the best you can do is talk and try to work it out, thats all you can do really, if that still dont work then maybe its best to have a break from eachother it might help. good luck x
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