A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, my boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. Without talking to me in person. He blocked me on different networking services like myspace, aim, and facebook. He got tired of me because he lost interest in me. I know for a fact that, I write too many letters, I call too much, I instant message, text, oh yeah an I bitch a lot for his carelessness. Yet, I still love him.Now, that I know hes is suffocating a lot from it. I think he hasn't realized how much I care about him. I been through a lot. Yet, he never points out problems, and he never tells me what makes him mad. I mean, I want to be with him! Still, no matter what people say to me. He did love me before. Why can't he love me again?I called him, and he agreed to talk at a specific location.What should I do/say to him? To get him back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): He owes you and explaination as to why he treated you so badly. Cutting you off like that and breaking up with you in such a cowardly way, is really not on. You poor girl. If he did not like you texting so much he should have said so. How were you to know? Don't blame yourself. He wasn't putting enough effort into keeping the relationship going. Talking is a key factor to a realtionship.Try talking to him about why he blocked you the way he did and see where it goes.Good luck.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Oh sweetheart you can't really make him come back with you or make him love you by constantly badgering him, yes you crowded him by the sounds of things.
Yes he has agreed to meet with you but if you come on way to strong then chances are he will meet you and then that will be it as he walks away thinking wow I don't need someone so clingy in my life.
Why were you clingy?
You say you have been through a lot, well that in itself could explain your behaviour pattern. What was that, have you been treated badly by a man previously? Is your need to hang on to someone so great that you don't realise you are suffocating them?
Perhaps the answer to a lot of these questions could be by talking to someone else, i.e. a doctor or maybe a counsellor, I am not suggesting for one minute that you are mad or anything like that but we all have issues in life and those who go and try to sort them out normally come out stronger the other side. It could be issues we have held on to from childhood or during our teens etc.
I think if he realises that you are prepared to do something about your behaviour this could make the difference and perhaps saying that you realise you were too full on for him and too needy this could also sway it.
Don't go into seeing him like a bull in a china shop, talk slowly and rationally and make the meeting light and not pressurised, don't say oh we must get back together again cos I miss you and love you as this could again send him running for the hills.
A better way is to say that you miss being with him and the good times that you shared together. Say about being friends and if something grows from that then that is great but if not then at least you still have a good friend you can trust.
This way it sounds like you are acting more grown up and understanding of his needs as well as your own. Things need to move slowly if you are to ever get back with him. Not texting, emailing or instant messaging every second of every day.
You need to have other hobbies as well and going out with your own friends as well. Make your life sound interesting and fun and not all about him as the problems come when we have no other outside activities and when we do break up with someone we are left alone and sad.
Make your life full without him and if he comes back into your life then that is great but NEVER EVER forget female friends and fun times with them too. If he wants time out with the lads that should be fine with you to. If you trust one another and have a strong relationship there should never be any fear of betrayal so you need to get your own mind and emotional state strong before you see him.
It is like going into a meeting with a plan in mind and letting someone else know that plan. Be strong but not bossy or needy again.
Good luck and let us know how you get on OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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