A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok i apologise if this question is a bit complicated but i'm confused about things, and need a bit of help. A few weeks ago, me and my bf (we'll call him J) split up, and i was devastated. The weekend after i dealt with things in a bad way by going to the cinema with this guy (B) who i've been friends with for ages, and ended up making out with him. It wasnt great to be honest, i just needed a distraction from the pain the break-up had caused me, much as im ashamed to say that. Im honestly not a slag, that was just how things happened. B wants to have a friends with benefits kind of thing, and i know for a fact that he just wants sex from me. I havent done anything with him since then, but he is still texting a lot, and i'm going to his party next weekend. Plus he keeps making suggestive comments about me giving him a 'special birthday present ;)'. Then theres another guy (P) who i've just met at my new after school job. He seems sweet and funny, and we've been chatting on msn, but i've just found out (by his own admission) that he has a bit of a drinking problem, and actually shows up to work intoxicated most days although ive never noticed this. I quite like him but not sure i want to go there.On top of all this, in weak moments i still miss my ex, even though it won't change anything. I guess i'm just looking for advice. What should I do with this situation? Any answers welcome, i just need some help.
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friend with benefits, miss my ex, msn, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (9 March 2009):
None of the above. You can do much better.
A
female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (9 March 2009):
I especially don't care for guy B, he sounds like trouble. Special birthday present, that's creepy especially since you guys only made out once.
Guy P, I would be wary of if he goes to work drunk, because that is not normal. I would make sure that info is correct before you completely ignore him, but just be careful.
Now for the ex, just keep yourself busy, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby, find something, anything to do that will keep him off your mind, and the memory will fade. There is a reason you guys broke up, remember that!
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 dont worry we have all been in those situations . this new guy p sounds interesting . . dont mind your advisor about the "drinking" problem . . . if hes young or in college its most likely hes been partying hard and that shows he has grewat socialising skills and an be the life of the party if he is intoxiated the next day . . . dont take it as a negative thing unless you no all the facts
i dont like that guy b . . just ignore his messages and at the party . . tell him you have your period then afta the next few days just say your not looking for anything an you only see him as a friend
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A
female
reader, HeartASHXOXO +, writes (4 February 2009):
Well, i would try to make the situation as simple as possible. Perhaps eliminating B from the equation. Just tell him you were upset, thats why you made out w/ him. Say you just want to be friends and need him to understand that. As for J- your going to miss him, yes, but youll eventually get over it, or maby even get back together. And P-, well, he could be lying for attention, for most people when there drunk, its extremely noticalbe. But if hes being honest, you can try to help him and be with him, or you can steer clear of danger.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Don't have any intimate relations with ANY OF THEM , find someone else.
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