A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyon, im here looking for advice about my relationship with this guy im 5 months pregnant with my first child im 23 yrs old and he is 21 yrs old. sunday he came to my house we talked about him telling his mum about me and the unborn baby, later on we made out then after that he told me that he is passing time with me and he said he has 2 other girls that wants to get with, and he said that once he succeed the will stop calling and coming to my house. he doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby. what should i do i feel used and betrayed. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Wow this guy is a douchebag ! I can't imagine someone being so mean. I feel bad for you, when the baby's born make him pay child support.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 yes, he has used and abused your trust. His behavior is inexcusable.
Remember to always keep an eye on a guys actions. That tells you his character and his motivations.
The sweet words a guy whispers in your ear when he wants something are far less reliable.
My best wishes to you and the baby..
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 June 2011):
He's an irresponsible schmuck. I am sorry you have had to find out this way about his lack of ethics. It's hard to know if speaking to his Mom about her soon to be born grandchild will help. But I would try. However be prepared for his Mom seeing him through rose color glasses. The shock of discovering this may cause her to be defensive and deny that her son is the father.
She may still think he's her dear little darling and believe his 'story'.
Visit your nearest Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) in England about how to instigate paternity proceedings.
The wonderful CAB in England can help you to investigate what support is available for you before and after baby is born.
Clearly this guy is not going to be a supporter of you, nor the baby, and will have to be dragged kicking and screaming, to even consider doing anything for his child.
No matter how irresponsible please do press for him to be noted as the father on the Birth Certificate, even if he is ordered by the Court to get DNA done.
Because in twenty years time your child will want to know more about their father.
Even if he refuses to a step up to being known as the bioological father do at least aim to have that fact officially recorded.
The reason I suggest this is because I have seen how painful if can be years later when an adult desperately wants to know more about the identity of their father, and the mother will not say.
Or situations where it eats away at a person because they have to settle for 'father not stated' on their birth certificate and no one can tell them more.
I do hope that you have lots of good support to help you get through this. Try to arrange extra support for you in the first six weeks after the birth of the baby. Those first six weeks are exhausting and the high of giving birth never prepares first time Moms with the exhaustion kicks in soon after the birth.
Best of luck with dealing with all this
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A
female
reader, mayhem321 +, writes (10 June 2011):
 This guy seems like a complete and utter tool! You need to get him to pay child support. I would also go and find him mom and tell her your situation, as you said his mom didn't know about you or the baby. The other 2 girls will hopefully see him for the tool that he is!
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A
male
reader, wantspaintogoaway +, writes (9 June 2011):
 I'm sorry. I think your right. This guy is a total asshole. You can make him at least pay child support tho right? I wish you the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Darling, I'm so sorry that has happened to you. In all honesty the guy is a total dick! You and your child do not deserve that! In my oppion, I'd take him for what he's worth! Get the financial support you need from him and then tell him to sling his hook! Honestly honey, life is too short to waste your time on a jerk-off like that 3 xx Time will pass by and you will get over this loser xx just remember you are worth so much more.
Jemma xx
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