A
female
age
41-50,
*_tsmommy
writes:I have been married almost 3 years and been with my husband for a total of 7 1/2 years. we have two beautiful little girls and we have had our little fights but nothing major. Here in the past two months he has changed. He has started drinking more and snaps at me rather quickly... he actually left me and has come back a few times and finally left again this past Thursday night. He doesn't spend any time with the girls and when I called him Friday to let him know I took one of the children to the hospital it was like he got mad and he finally came up there but didn't stay long cause he said it was too hot in the room. When he went back to where ever he was going he told people that the hospital would not let him in the back with his daughter which was a lie. He is not telling me his reason for leaving and he tells me that he still loves me but yet he will not talk to me about anything. What in the world should I do? Should I just let him go or should I try to hold on and see what might happen. He has become very spaced from the girls and I and then he gets ill and upset when the girls want nothing to do with him. I don't know what to do or what is going on with him. He has told me that he will not go to a marriage couseling and that he doesn't want a seperation yet he has taken all of his things out of the house and is staying at his dad's which is nothing but trouble with alcohol and drugs. What should I do for myself and my children. What is wrong with him?
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 You need to ask him straight out what's going on. I agree with the others when they said there may be another woman involved. He's not stable in this relationship and your children need stability. Think about what's best for your children. You need to ask him if he's going to be there for the girls or not, and if he's not then you're going to have to leave him. For your children's sake, and your own.
Wishing you the best.
xxx
A
male
reader, wildman +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Unfortunately it sounds like there may be another woman involved to me. Have you had any indication of that or any other changes besides alcohol?
I would bet on the other woman thing first, maybe ask around to see what you can find out. If that is it you might want to start moving on because he may have already gone too far.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 April 2008):
Something has obviously happened to him. Either something bad that he needs help with, or possibly an affair.
But you can't keep chasing after him as he'll just run further away.
Ask him to meet you in a neutral place like a cafe, and ask him straight out whether he's away temporarily or for good. Then organise times for him to see the girls.
Tell him you are willing to give it another go but he needs to stop drinking and get help with whatever it is that is going on.
If he says that it's over then remain civil, but get your divorce, your child payments and your visitation rights sorted as soon as possible.
At the moment he is keeping you dangling and that is not fair.
Good Luck!! xx
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