A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend and we have been together for 2 months. I've known him 9 months before actually making it official. Anyways at this time he's currently jobless and Car less . He has been applying for any kinda of job yet nothing has come up. He doesn't try to take advantage of me in any way..like asking for rides or making me pay for anything. But because of his situation we haven't been on any dates except the first . I'm kinda worried if he will ever find anything and get his self together because I'm beginning to feel the resentment setting in. I'm trying to be patient but I don't know how long I can take this. We've talked about this and he's says he's trying and is scared that I will get tired and walk away from him . I really do care about him and want him in my life but I'm not sure if I can hold on this way. What should I do? Call it quits until he gets his stuff together or tough it out a little longer ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (1 February 2013):
People are unemployed for extended periods for a reason. He may be a nice guy, but financially he's a loser. Decide what you want.
A
female
reader, MsTiff82 +, writes (30 January 2013):
Thanks to you all for your opinions and suggestions they've really helped me out!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): If he isn't asking you for anything then it sounds as though your main issue is that he hasn't taken you on any dates am I right? If that's the case then I have to say I think you are being very heartless. My boyfriend was made redundant about 3 months into our relationship and it took him 4 months to get something else. I took him out once in a while to cheer him up, and we did other things that cost very little money (picnics, DVD nights, walks together etc). It's very hard to get a job now because there are so many people out of work do employers have their pick of so many candidates. I know it's early days for you two, but a relationship is supposed to be a partnership and you should support him during this time as it is probably affecting his self esteem as it is. FYI calling it quits until he gets a job would be beyond cruel, so if you want it to work you will need to start supporting him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): I have taken a look at his résumé and have vamped it up for him quite a bit just recently because there wasn't enough information on there. The type of jobs he's mostly applying for are warehouse worker or mail service companies like fed ex, and ups because he has past experience in those type of fields.At least thats what he's telling me. And youre right it doesn't make sense to apply just any old place so i will see if i can find out more about the places hes actually applying for. We both live in Los Angeles so yes the economy has affected our area as far as jobs are concerned. I'm trying to be the best support system I can. It's just getting frustrating that he's not getting a single call back or interview by now and I don't know what else to do to help
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Hi there. Is he applying for many jobs?
To really give himself more of a chance in getting job offers, it would be useful for him to be applying for something like 10-20 jobs each day.
And also, to apply for jobs he definitely DOES have the skills for.
There is no point in applying for something he just couldn't do, because an employer will hardly even look at his resume, as it would be wasting their time.
So it really does depend on what types of jobs he is looking for in the first place.
Does he have any skills, or a trade perhaps?
And when you say he is applying for anything, I am guessing it could be factory jobs, or labourer jobs, where there is not too much needed in the skills department.
Other than, being a good honest worker who puts in a good day's work.
To help him, it might be useful to have a good look at just what is in his resume.
When applying for jobs, it is necessary that a resume shows the appropriate skills and work experience for that particular job, so it has some relevance to the job being applied for.
Many times where people go wrong in applying for jobs, is that they just simply send the same old resume for every single job - no matter what the job is.
Each time a job is being applied for, a resume needs to be carefully read through, to see what is relevant to that job and add or delete information accordingly.
He could have one resume on the computer, and use it as a shell, and just change what needs to be changed, for each job applied for.
So it's possible if he ISN'T doing this, that he isn't getting interviews or callbacks, because of his resume.
He could have all the skills and do a fantastic job, and yet his resume lets him down.
It's possible.
And it DOES happen quite a lot.
If he doesn't feel confident about his resume, he might be able to go to one of these companies who prepare professional resumes for people applying for jobs.
He might have information in there that really isn't needed.
Plus, he might NOT have information in there that could really make a HUGE difference.
It's certainly worth looking into, anyway.
And I promise, it will help things along.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (30 January 2013):
 i see no reason why you shouldn't give him time to get himself together. it's a tough economy we are living in right now. finding a new job once you lose one can be extremely tough. just be patient with him, and definitely don't kick him while he's down. he's clearly not a loser or a bum, as he's not asking you for anything.
you said you've known him for nine months prior to dating .. did he seem like he had himself put together?
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A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Well making it official may also include going through the bad times, the dry times, the honey I've got a headache times. Question to ask yourself is do you resent his character or do you resent the situation. If it's his character you'll have to rethink the RS. If it's the situation you may have to adjust, negotiate, go for longer walkies. Don't worry about the future, work on today.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 January 2013):
Do you guys live in a town/city with a very bad economy?
If so then I'd say give him some time, maybe offer some help. Without a car it can be difficult to find a job.
If you live in a relatively prosperous area he may not be trying very hard, even if he says he is.
Tell him to apply at car dealerships, they'll hire almost anyone.
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