A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What should I do? i don't think he wants me anymore:( can't stop crying:(? My ex bf invited me to his house last week, he cooked, we laid in bed (no sex) we kissed and talked lots. He held my hand when we were walking. He said he broke up with me because I was arguing and nagging him too much. I asked him to the cinema, he said he couldn't make it. He asked me to accompany him somewhere today, I went with him. and at the restaurant there was this guy who I thought was cute so I told my ex and he asked if I wanted him to go tell the guy.All this means he doesn't want me anymore right? I love this guy so much and we've been broken up for 6 months but I've really grown up since then and realised I was really stupid back then.I asked him if he still loves me but he said he's still got a bit of love for me, but he likes me a lot. I am really hurting. Can't stop crying:( what should I say to him please? I don't want to be his friend:( I love him too much to be just friends:(Thank you..x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): He still has feelings for you, but they are not as strong as they used to be because of the arguing and nagging. I would suggest you don't SAY anything. Let him SEE from your ACTIONS that you have changed in the way of arguing and nagging. It seems to me like he still has the feelings for you but it is too afraid to 'go back there' with you just yet as he remembers there were problems.... and lucky for you he has told you what they are.Deep love feelings can be rekindled with the right sort of time and treatment. Don't allow any sort of neediness or desperate actions to be shown on your part. Do NOT ARGUE with him under any circumstances. If you disagree on anything, let him know in a loving gentle way.... don't be a dormat, but show him you have learned how to communicate in a more controlled way (ie: communicate not argue).It sounds to me like he is toying with the idea of being with you but is unsure. I wouldn't suggest anything to him, let him spend time with you, and let that time be FUN with NO ARGUING and NO NAGGING. I also wouldn't talk about you being with other guys with him, because that takes away the unspoken concept of you two being together.Let HIM instigate the idea of being together again, when his feelings start to grow again, and he starts to trust you more, and see that the nagging and arguing HAS changed. Not through your words but your Actions. You will have to be VERY Patient.... patience is your friend!! Let him work it out for himself. If you push for it...you will push him away. The seed of love is already there for you, you have a huge headstart.... but his time with you now leave him feeling great and WANTING to have MORE time with you. He will feel this when the time with you is RELAXED and FUN and he feels NO PRESSURE or CONFLICT.... all the best to you... If it is meant to be..it WILL BE...and if not.... there is someone EVEN BETTER for you!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): If you both agree that you want to give it another go feel free to ask his opinion. Possibly don't make those comments infront of him because I am pretty sure you wouldn't appreciate that either if he said that to you. Then again you aren't together but still maybe keep that on the downlow. You should definetly apologize but don't act needy even if you really want to. If he doesn't want to be with you let it go but definetly start by saying you were wrong for what you were like towards him in the past and then work your way from there and just see where it goes. Best wishes. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (23 September 2011):
 If you truly believe you were arguing and nagging too much then you can always speak to him and tell him you were wrong and will definitely change this behaviour. However, some people use excuses about why they don't want to be with someone and they are rarely the real reasons. Why not suggest that you understand you may have been wrong in your actions towards him and you'd like to give it another go. If he doesn't seem keen on this, then you must realise that he simply doesn't want a relationship with you. It's worth a try.
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