A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need honest opinion. My husband is the youngest and only son in his family. Got 2 older sisters. We are asian.We just married for a couple months ago. I found out recently that his sister has a glamourous lifestyle eventhough she keep borrow money from my parent in law for various reason such as for starting business ( which always go downward ), buy house, warehouse and capital for starting anything. Although she borrow money from his parent, her family keep having a glamorous lifestyle such as keep changing new luxury cars, wear branded only things,family vacation. In the other hand, my husband who is too humble and have a mindset of " work for the things you want instead of asking from parent" works very hard for his carreer. Tried various jobs and works 18 hours a day sometimes. When i asked him why he is so silly to have such a difficult lifestyle that makes him not rest enough and so unhealthy. He said that he doesnt want to owe anyone. I mean really? Anyone? Including your parent? His sister has used so many amount of money since her marriage 14 years ago. Her asset? She and her family keep ingratiate my parent in law. She and husband is pro on taking my in law heart. They use their kids ( parent inlaw love them so much and likes children ) and keep giving then attention ( which is sometimes seems forced/fake.Unfortunately, my parent in law weakness is this. Once someone got their heart, they would give them their life. Both of his sisters use this tactic to get fund resources. My character is not someone who can ingratiate somenone other than really give attention to the person i really care. I cant fake it. I know it seems unrelated but theres a fortune teller once told me that my life would started to change when i reached 30. He got a well known reputation for his readings. My friend recommend him as she got her reading precisely with what happen in her life. I got my reading with a too good to be true result. He predict that 2 years later my life would change and my husband would succeed in his business and even got 3 houses. Is there such thing? Is it possible for someone who have nothing to be succeed only in 2 year? My husband doesnt know anything about i went for a reading.What should i do as i see my husband is not using his own proportion in his family? Should i support him to keep independent and works extremely hard like this? We are living with in laws as it is their wishes and our tradition as an asian with only son. When i have conflict with his mom he told me to pray for his success and we would move out after that. But sometimes i feel its too imposible that he could succeed in this near future. Especially in 2 years? He keep repeating that his motivation for working that hard is me. Because he wants to give me a life that i want if not he is already grateful with what he has today.What should i expect as i dont know what i feel now
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male
reader, Woodstock54  +, writes (3 October 2017):
Let it go and definitely support him. What's going to happen when his parents pass if he didn't establish himself at a younger age? Also I saw this with my family and I was in your husband's position. I valued people working with me more to achieve what I wanted then I did with "being comfortable". I guarantee his sister is not truly happy.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 Honestly good for him for not running to his parents. It is great you have a hard working husband. They are allowing you to live in their home, so you should be thankful for that and not look for handouts in fairness. The fortune teller could be true and might not be I guess you will just need to live your life and see. Stop giving your husband a hard time and be thankful that he is not looking to his parents for money. We should all earn our own money, even if his sisters are not that is still up to their parents not you. Have a happy life.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 First of all, stop working to some "timetable" a fortune teller gave you. This is unreasonable. Even if you believe him - your prerogative - you have no right to inflict his predictions on your husband and make him work towards making them happen.
Secondly, both you and your husband sound like a pair with high moral standards so why would you seek to compromise these for the sake of a few baubles? Could you sleep as well at night in your fancy new house if you knew you had bought it with money his parents felt obliged to give you?
Your husband sounds like a wonderful man. Look after him before he works himself to death to make your dream come true. You have a roof over your heads which your in-laws are kindly providing. By all means, save for the future if you wish to have your own place but don't let your husband end up in an early grave because you are jealous of his sisters' fancy baubles. Such things will be meaningless if your husband makes himself ill or falls out of love with you. You are both worth more than a few trinkets.
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