A
female
age
36-40,
*onfusedLady1
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 2 and a half years. Things were great in the beginning but more recently we seem to argue about everything. Things are lovely when we're getting on but we seem to argue most days and he goes silent and will ignore me all day..sometimes longer. I always end up apologising even when it's not my fault. I also feel like he prioritises football over me. I knew he was a fan but he has to go to every single home game, away game and now every game in Europe. He plans holidays with his friends to go to the football without telling me his plans. I understand he enjoys it but where do you draw the line? It's really getting me down. A lot of my friends are married with children now and I don't want to waste my time being with someone who doesn't want what I want. I've tried to tell him how I feel multiple times but it always ends in an argument. I haven't talked to my family about it because I don't want them to think badly of him but everyone has noticed how much football he goes to and they're shocked (most of the people he goes with are divorcees and I can understand why).Do I hope he changes or do I leave? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2017): Times flies - and the biological clock is ticking...
Do not hang around for too long, have 'the talk' with your man and if no commitment on the horizon, leave.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 You said it yourself, you want different things. You may have spoke to him but it is his life and it is his choice how much football he goes to, if you don't want this life style then don't waste your time and leave.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 I sort of understand where you're coming from because my cousin's husband is mad over football as well... So much so that I don't even think he has a very stable job and she supports him financially but anyway. My point is that, this can get very very annoying and there's no cure for it. You can't talk him out of it, he will not let go of this obsession and if you marry him, you will have to live with this for every day of your life.
Are you willing to settle for this life?
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A
female
reader, ConfusedLady1 +, writes (29 September 2017):
ConfusedLady1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice Dionee. I know you're right.. it's just a scary prospect. Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 I totally understand where you're coming from. I've had a relationship in the past that was the same as yours in terms of arguing and let me tell you; you will get to the point where staying won't even be on your mind because you will be so tired of it that you will be running for the hills. My advice is, leave. If you're tired of the constant arguing, just leave. It hardly ever gets better and it usually never calms down. The days of talking everything through are well behind you. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm trying to show you that you deserve more.
It seems like he could be getting influenced by his new friends and who knows, he just may be a bit overwhelmed right now and maybe they're filling his head with mush. I've noticed how most guys I know are heavily influenced by their friends in a sense of if the friend wants to go out at an inappropriate time for the girlfriend then the friend wins. If the friend wants to drink all night even though you tell your boyfriend to watch his drinking as a concerned girlfriend, the friend will get him wasted. You know, just stuff like that. My point is maybe his new friends are influencing him to attend more games and such.
Honestly speaking, your relationship doesn't seem healthy. In fact, football is this guys first love it seems. That's not to say that he shouldn't have interests but if it's interfering with your relationship and making you miserable, then it just isn't healthy.
I've also had a football obsessed boyfriend in the past and it drove me absolutely insane! That's when I decided that I won't date any guys in future that are obsessed with ANYTHING. It just isn't for me as I find that it robs of personal time with your partner.
We can't fault the guy for being obsessed with sport however, we can advise you that this probably isn't the best situation for you if you want more. Why? because he won't be willing to give you more which in all fairness; you deserve.
Ultimately, it's your decision to make but I think that it's time to leave.
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