A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 and in grade 11. My school is a small school with 7 grades in it. I had this teacher in my grade 8-9 years. I still see him a lot because I help him with 2 of the activities at my school. Lately I have been getting these mixed signals from him. I think of this man like he is my father. My parents are divorced and I don't get to see my father that much. It's only myself and my mother. Today, I was walking to school and he saw me and offered me a lift. I accepted and he told me, "I appreciate a woman that walks to school." He has told me a lot about his personal life. I have told him about my life too, but he has also asked about personal things as well. I may be sixteen but I have been mistaken for the teacher on class trips. The last class trip I was on he was the teacher in charge. In a group photo I was standing beside him, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me right into him. This teacher is married, has twin boys that are in my class and is 30 years older then me. There was another photo taken of only us and he wants to put it in his classroom. When I am dressed up for a formal dance/dinner at the school he takes double glances at me and stares at my chest. I am worried that I am starting to like this attention. Is it wrong to be accepting this kind of attention from a teacher? And is it wrong that I am starting to form a crush on him? Also, what should I do about it? I have one more year at this school.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (6 December 2011):
Distance yourself from him.. no more personal talks. What this man is doing is abusive and could lose him his job. There can be no relationship between teachers and students. He should know better. If he has feelings, he should be adult enough to handle it without you becoming uncomfortable, or leave the school and stop teaching.
Next time he mentions anything about you being a woman, clearly state, no sir, I'm underage and still a school child. If he continues this behaviour, I suggest you go talk to your mother or a female teacher.
A
female
reader, synchrohobbit +, writes (6 December 2011):
Nothing you are doing is wrong. It is incredibly normal for someone your age to develop a crush on an older man giving them attention. What is wrong is the attention he is giving you, both because he is your superior and much much older. I do not know what age of consent laws are in Canada, but I think a teenager and someone in their forties probably would bring up some legal questions. I think that it would be best to avoid him if you do not feel threatened, but if you are uncomfortable in any way I would report this behavior to the school counselor or principal. It is possible this is not the first time this has happened and behavior like this has been known to escalate. Also, just because you look older doesn't make it okay for an older man to treat you any differently than other girls your age. Stay safe!
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