A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i am a 20 year old female and have been seeing my boyfriend for four years. we broke up about 11 months ago and things got a little crazy between us with fighting and that but about two months ago we ended up what i thought was patching things up and then we started dating again. but ever since we've started dating again i don't really know were i stand with him i've asked him plenty of times were i am with him am he keeps saying he doesnt want the relationship thing again yet but he still wants to see me. Then last week he lets it slip that he thinks he still loves me and that he does not want me to be with anyone else apart from him. then when i asked him again were did i stand with him because he left me confused after saying that. and he just said the same thing all over again.(i dont want a relationship yet) the thing is i have a 19 month old son by him and i am completely in love with this guy i want the whole family thing with him but he wont let me in wont give me proper answers and the more i tell myself to let him come to me i can never wait around for him i always go running back. its very upsetting. so i was just wondering if use could help me out on what i should do ??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): thanks guys i will try each of your advice xx
A
male
reader, Candleman  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Assuming that your boyfriend is about your age since you would have started seeing him when you were 16, this means that he is in the prime of his life in regards to being single. Young man w/ experience on the market. He is probably enjoying the hell out of himself.
About the only thing you can do is either tell him to shit or get off the pot, or keep seeing him but date other guys too. If he's keeping his options open, then it is only fair that you keep yours open as well.
Perhaps the threat of losing you to someone else will make him see the light? Maybe you will find someone else even better than him? Either way you can't wait for someone that may never commit.
Since you really would rather have him, tell him, look, I love you, I want you as my husband, I am yours right now. But, I can not wait around when you may never commit. Therefore, I must see other people too.
Good Luck to you
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Do what you want to do. You have many options.
You can just wait it out hoping that he will change his mind soon and want to be in a relationship with him. (Keep in mind that might never happen and he is probably happy with still having you but being "single" or he is just really confused and doesn't know if he wants you or not.)
You can get rid of him and move on. This will be hard to do since you have a 19 month old son with him but do you really want your son to grow up with such an unsteady family relationship?
You can tell him to leave and when he makes up his mind to call you. Tell him you are not going to wait around while he decides whether he wants you or not. This is probably the best option and will probably give him the boost he needs to get in a relationship with you. And if he never wanted a relationship then you will not be waiting around stuck with him.
Good Luck!
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