A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've decided to legally change my name. I've been unhappy with my name since I was a child, and I've decided that life is too short to live with a name that makes you miserable.The reason I hate my full name is because I con't identify with it. I have a very common full name, and it's a burden to me because I'm constantly getting lost in the crowd. I don't want an outrageous name, I just want a name that uniquely identifies only me. I want a unique name and a last name that makes my first name sparkle. The first and last names just sound ugly together, like a dissonant chord in music. I want a name that's music to my ears.I keep getting confused with others (most of whom are miscreants) who have the same full name. It always gets straightened out, but I'm tired of sharing a name because it makes me feel like a nobody. I want a name all my own.The problem is that I'm not sure how to pick out a new name. Where I live, you only get one name change per lifetime (not sure if that's true elsewhere). I'm sure that I want to go through with it, but the new name is something I'm gonna have to live with.My first name is Sara, and I don't care for the name, but I'm not sure if I'll change my first name. I definitely want to get rid of my surname. I don't want to pick a surname out of the blue; I want something I have a connection to. An ancestor of mine was from Spain, and I love Spanish names, but the problem was that this person was adopted and no one knows her original surname. I just want a name all my own! I'm definitely changing that name, but I don't know what to change it to. I want something I'm connected to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): I too want to change my name, but for different reasons. I was born to a diagnosed psychopath and undiagnosed but clearly a narcissist (these personality disorders are siblings, and the primary problem is they have no feelings or empathy for others...the psychopath usually has a long prison record (my daddy does); and the narcissist gossips or puts down, abuses through emotional or physical means, and somehow comes up on top with the extended family. Usually only the immediate children are aware of this insidious behavior.
Anyway, my dad has now died, and my relationship with mother is zero. She has called me 'evil eyes' since she left my father when I was 4...because I have eyes like him (by the way, they are BEAUTIFUL EYES); She has put me down to the extended family now to the point that none will talk to me (and I haven't even seen these people in over 20 years!).
So, to keep things short, you'll just have to take my word for it, keeping my name makes me want to vomit. I need a new identity. I've been playing my mother's nasty tapes in my head for so many years I have been left with no confidence, no self-esteem, and no self-worth whatsoever. Well, I've had some counselling and now those tapes playing in my head are positive. I am a wonderful person, I am compassionate, I am beautiful, I am a positive member of society - not a negative one. I contribute much more than I take out of this world.
So, my new name, I've decided, will be Paige Turner. I'm sure the name has been taken already but I don't care...Paige Turner is perfect for me. You see, I am also a writer. Do you see the metephorics here? I am turning my pages now (negative pages to positive ones), and the name has a nice ring to it as a writer.
Congratuations on your decision to change your name. I think this is the best move people can make if they need to break away from extreme negative pasts. Negative not through any fault of your own, but because your family has essentially rejected you as a person.
Peace and blessings,
Paige Turner
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): I should probably clarify that the reason I want to do it is because it bothers me that a lot of people have the exact same full name as me... and it bothers me because I feel like I don't have a sense of identity or individuality. I'd like to have a name all my own. Every time I get in trouble because someone else has the same full name as I do, it always gets sorted out, but I feel like I should have my own name. I'm not a generic person and I hate the full name because it relegates me to the woodwork when I like to stand out in the crowd (in a good way).I feel like a share a name with other people, and I feel like people need to feel one of a kind, an individual. I'd like a name that I'm connected to in some way, though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Someone below suggested "salinas"
I think "Sara Salinas"
Sounds beutiful. It has that ring to it. I really don't think you should change your first name. Its lovely
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Hello Sara.
I am not going to assist you with a name choice, because like Satin says, if you want to change your name that's a choice that you make. But I am intrigued as to why you think changing your name will instantly make your life better.
I don't like my name. I am a black man, but my name suggests something completely different and specific to a certain European nation. I would be a total billionaire if I had a penny for everytime sometime 'sung' my name to me, as it was extremely popular in an old movie. But I could never change it now.
After over 40 years of life, people know me, respect me, I think some even like me, based on my life achievements, not on my name.
Will changing your name alter your personality? Or make you more popular? Or make you feel better about yourself? Everyone you know accepts you for who you are, name and all. It would be very strange to hear people calling something like Marianne Estevez when they mean you. Just like people have called me Denzel, Marcellus Wallace, Shaft, all sorts, and although I don't like my birth name, I will stick with it. Change your name if you must, but make sure you do it for the correct reason. I'm not sure that wanting to sound unique, or standing out from the crowd BY NAME is going to alter your lifestyle much.
People seem to remember others for who they are, what type of person they are, and what they do, and the name is merely the first point of identification. When you walk into a room, people will think 'here comes Sara', and appraise YOU. Your name doesn't make you, your characteristics do.
Best of luck with the new name.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (6 July 2009):
 A friend went through something akin to this... I would suggest starting the way she did: think of actors or actresses you admire and start playing around with combinations that you like until something hits you...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): You are a grown-up woman, so I don't have to tell you what a pain it is to change your name, but you are a woman. If you get married sometime you can change it without having to choose one. It may not be perfect but should represent being with the one you love. If not then change it to whatever you think represents the person you want to be. Your first name is beautiful, one I'm concidering naming my first daughter someday... You may not like it, but I think it is a great name.
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