A
female
age
30-35,
*umpsuit01
writes:Alright men, I like this guy alot, and things are fine, but I want to do something... special. Something thats not sappy, and too romantic, but fun, and will impress him.So what sort of things do men apperciate, in that sence.The best way to explain would be... women appreciate, flowers, or dinner, or planned movie night just the two.... romantic types of things... What do men want... to make them feel special i guess... xDThanks
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female
reader, jumpsuit01 +, writes (22 October 2011):
jumpsuit01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your help. 3
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 "I dont want to bring up the relationship thing, but i want to do something that will, slip that idea into his head without him knowing."
sadly NOT going to happen. IF he thought that way about you, you would already know it.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (18 October 2011):
 "Were not "Dating" exactly... We have had sex already. a few times."
Hmmm. This could be a problem. Generally, sleeping with a guy before you're officially dating hurts your chances of getting a relationship (doesn't matter whether it's fair, it's just the way it is). Converting a hookup/FWB to a boyfriend just doesn't sit well with most guys, and it has a very low chance of success. Still, give it your best shot and see what comes of it.
I know you don't want to go for the direct approach, but that's probably what would work best here. I'd say the best plan of attack would be to invite him over to make dinner together (make something light so you don't go into a food-coma), then go out somewhere that's quiet enough to talk and spacious enough to walk (drinking is fine, even if you just pick one spot to stay at to talk, so long as you go somewhere quiet enough). Have a movie at home as a backup plan, but you probably won't need it. Enjoy yourselves, let your personality shine, have a good talk.
During this time, you should bring up wanting to date him for real, if he doesn't on his own (I don't think he will, so be prepared to make the move).
If you don't bring it up earlier, your option is basically to take him home but not have sex. You can make out, cuddle, even let him sleep over, but not have sex (that includes handjobs). There's a pretty good chance he will be annoyed by this, consider it game-playing, and not like it, which is why you're much better off bringing it up earlier. If he asks why, tell him you're only having sex in relationships from now on. Again, this is not the optimal strategy, but upgrading from a friend with benefits to a girlfriend is just very difficult to do, so you have to be willing to take a risk.
Otherwise, you can just part ways before getting home. You'll have had a nice time, but probably not made much progress without a direct move. Good luck either way.
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A
female
reader, jumpsuit01 +, writes (18 October 2011):
jumpsuit01 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have known him for only a few months. Were not "Dating" exactly. But we hang out quite a bit, drink together, watch hockey, easy stuff.
We have had sex already. a few times.
I dont want to bring up the relationship thing, but i want to do something that will, slip that idea into his head without him knowing. xD I want to brain ninja him. ha ha.
I dont want to bring it up because his last relationship was 3 years long, and they only split because she got into hard drugs, and wasn't around a lot, but i know he loved her, and maybe he still does.
Anyway, I just want to show him how awesome i am. Get him to notice me, in that way.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 October 2011):
This depends on what your relationship with him is. Give some more details (how long you've known him, if you've been dating him and if so for how long, any of his interests, that sort of thing) and we can give you something better.
But, in case there's time pressure, this'll get you started:
Just friends and you've only known him less than a few months: Just ask him out somewhere. Preferably something with moving around, like a hike, farmer's market, or anything else where you're not stuck in one spot.
Just friends and you've known him a long time: Go somewhere related to his interests (concert, sporting event, two-person pub crawl, Star Trek convention - whatever works for him) with just the two of you.
Been dating a short time: Make him dinner and watch a movie, preferably one that's a good guy movie but you can still ignore it if more pressing matters come up.
In all three cases, get him alone at some point and kiss him. Guys are easy to please - you don't need to get him anything or plan some big activity, all you need to do is show that you are interested in him. Make an effort and you're good to go. Keep it low-pressure on both of you, the aim is to enjoy yourselves, not to one-up every date you've ever been on.
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