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male
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anonymous
writes: Here's a quick summary. Me and my girlfriend, both 24, were dating; pretty hot and heavy, then out of the blue she says that she doesn't want to lose me, but she's not ready for a relationship. We no longer contact each other and when we see each other on the street we act like we both have the plague. How can one person go from saying that they love you to not even acknowledging your existence. Is this complete immaturity or does she have issues? I do miss our relationship, but I'm not sure if I actually miss her, as a person. Am I an idiot that it bothers me that she won't acknowledge me anymore? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mister-squid +, writes (9 January 2006):
 I've seen this in so many of my friends, both male AND female, that it's untrue. Their partners say they're not ready for a relationship, even after 2 weeks, a month, even 3-4 months of being together. It's a poor excuse so that they can, generally and in most cases, be with someone else.
Trust me, you're better off without her.
A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (9 January 2006):
 No, I don't think that you're an idiot at all. You're just totally puzzled by the whole situation, so you can't help giving thought to it.
It does seem strange that her feelings changed virtually overnight. The best explanation I can offer is that she did not truly love you; she was just infatuated or something to a lesser degree than love. In my experience, you don't just abandon a person that you love out of the blue, nor can you "not be ready for a relationship" with someone that you love.
She might have issues, which could be mixed with some immaturity, but I'm in no position to judge that since I don't know her situation.
The only things that are certain is that she is no longer interested in you, for whatever reason, and that she probably did not love you, even if she claimed to.
Date around. This isn't love.
Good luck and best wishes.
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