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What kind of upbringing would make someone uncaring cold and callous towards everyone?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

What kind of upbringing would make someone uncaring cold and callous towards their partners,children,family even friends as i know of a person just like this and i am finding it hard to understand how anyone can be like this towards anyone who has caused them no harm

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntPeople come from all different types of families and some can be very dysfunctional meaning they didn't show love or give love to their children and children learn from what they see or hear during their childhoods. If his Mother didn't take the time to hold him and make him feel nurtured and loved, he will have difficulty giving these things to someone else because he doesn't know what they look like; he doesn't even know they exist. My husband was raised in a strict military family, his Dad was very abusive and sometimes violent. He was the oldest child and the first male and his mother was never allowed to hold or comfort him when he was a baby. He was pretty much left to do whatever he needed to do without alot of nurturing. WHen he was 6 he wrecked his bike and skinned himself up pretty bad. His mother spanked him and then his father beat him. Does this sound like the kind of thing a normal family would do to a small child who has had an accident and came home bleeding? You have to really look at how someone has been raised to understand why they may lack the skill set to show love to others.

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A female reader, crummyscreenname Canada +, writes (20 February 2012):

who cares what kind of upbringing would make a person like that? if someone is treating you badly, get them out of your life. you are not their therapist, its not your job to fix them or figure them out. if they dont want to change, you cant change them.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 February 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIt might be a safety mechanism. Sometimes just just don't know.

It's the kind of people I tend to stay far away from.

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