A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 27 years old woman who had had two boyfriends: my first boyfriend cheated on me, we were children (15 at the time) but it still hurt so bad I didn’t get a boyfriend for 3 years after that. The second one is a little more complicated.Two years and a half ago I left my home country to work on my master’s degree. Six months before I left, my boyfriend (we had been together for 6 years) broke up with me claiming that he wasn’t sure he still loved me or he was with me just habit. At the time, I knew he was breaking up with me because I was leaving but I was too hurt because of what he said. Three months after we broke up, he told me had made a mistake that he was sorry and he wanted to get back together. I said that we couldn’t because I felt there was no way for me to trust him again. He has tried to get back together ever since. The question is: why do I feel so unworthy of love – unlovable, I guess? I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen but every time I think of it, I get terribly sad (like a wave of grief is enveloping me or something). What is wrong with me? I’ve had two boyfriends and both have left me.
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broke up, cheated on me, get back together Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tommy Crue  +, writes (1 October 2012):
There is NOTHING wrong with you. 2 failed relationships is nothing. The right one will come along someday. Be patient and not so hard on yourself.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (2 July 2012):
 You are being too hard on yourself. These two don't even really count. First, when you're a teenager, you are trying to find out who you are and who everyone else is at the same time. Secondly, you had a boyfriend break up with you because you left your country to further your education, then he wanted you back. What's wrong with that? I understand he hurt you by saying he didn't love you, but people say all kinds of things when they are upset. If I was him, I would have been upset you were leaving and might not have known how to handle the situation. He may have thought that while you were getting your master's degree you should be totally focused on that. I have a master's degree and I know how much time and effort are required to get one. I am not sure, but give yourself a break. Get out there and see if you can meet someone now.
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A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (1 July 2012):
 I think your most recent boyfriend was just scared of getting hurt when you would be away from him. If you still have feelings for him you have to try again. If you can't trust someone long distances, how can you trust them when they are just a few blocks from you?
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (1 July 2012):
 "What is wrong with me? I’ve had two boyfriends and both have left me."
2 is HARDLY a number you should be concerned with. 2 is practically nothing. If 10 good men had left you, then yes, you may have a reason to question your own self - but two? Come on now!
One you can hardly count as you both were 15 years old. How many people do you know that are still with their first boyfriend when they were teenagers? The likelihood of these teenage relationships sustaining into adult life are slim to non-existant. And the fact that a 15 year old, horny boy would cheat on their 15 year old gf seems hardly a surprise either.
Technically your second boyfriend wants to get back together with you. If you were silly and desperate enough to agree to his desires, you wouldn't be single. You have chosen the wise path though and you have cast him out of your life. But in all reality, he is not rejecting you now, is he?
All in all, you have nothing to worry about and you are in fact taking this too personally and too seriously. Having two failed relationships do not reflect poorly on you, especially since you were both very young. If being cheated on by a horny 15 year old guy has impacted your self worth and created some issues, you need to toughen up. Life is tough and if you can't handle these types of negatives, I'd hate to see what really bad situations and life experiences will do to you.
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