A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy who is 10 years younger than I. We have a good relationship. I consider him a friend and he often asked my advice on decisions he's thinking abt making. We have been intimate. But the last few times we have been together. We did not have sex, we kidded and embraced. I was involved with a man closer to my age, but I found him to be boring. I'm starting to care for him and I think he is too. He keeps saying he was hurt in his last relationship and he has trust issues and doesn't want a relationship now. I'm recently divorce after 18 years due to my ex infidelity and outside children. So I to,have trust issues and am not ready for a relationship. We do not live in the same state, but we talk and text daily and visit each others home monthly. We get along really well. We both tell each other we don't want a relationship but wr both are not involved with anyone else. We both talk to others on the phone and have friends of the opposite sex. So what is this we have?
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male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (15 April 2011):
Look, you are both hurt from past relationships and have hangups because of it so there is no need to rush into anything. From what you described I really think that you two will be fine and I really think some honest discussions about your feelings for each other and fears of what lies ahead will alleviate some the fears you two have, making you two even more comfortable with each other than you already are. :) I feel positive about, from your posting.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope you're right .
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you
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A
male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (14 April 2011):
I feel like you two have an attraction with each other that could be something good. However, you're right, perhaps it is too soon to start a relationship. If you care for each other and you feel like you might want to be with him then perhaps you need to voice this to him. Yes, you should be careful when you do so since you both say that you do not want a relationship. But the title of your post is a question. I think you should ask him this question. If things are really as you describe then you already act sort of a couple. The good thing is, though, you are already friends. You two could have an awesome relationship if you play your cards right. Perhaps you should tell him how you feel for him. Also, you need to make it clear that you're not there to pressure him into anything but he deserves to know just like you deserve to have him know. Maybe you already have told him, I don't know. You also need to tell him about the trust issues. If he is a good man and he really cares about you then he will help you deal with those trust issues. He will do whatever he can to make sure that you know he is trustworthy. You could also use this time that you are not in a relationship with him to maybe see a counselor and try to work on those issues. CUPIDUS is a member of this site and she gives frequent advice. I will use one of her lines that I thought was great: "You go and get a good you going."Good luck with this. I hope it works out because it sounds like you two would have a blast.
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