A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 and might be starting to date women. You'll probably notice the "might be". The reason why is that I would like to have a relationship with a women, yet everywhere I look it just ends in catastrophe. People getting divorces, people having affairs, people more miserable then when they were. I even looked on some questions here and when people ask should they get a married couple back together even though they clearly love each other several people reply by saying no. What's the point of being in a relationship if it's just always going to end in tragedy?
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female
reader, Manya  +, writes (10 January 2007):
Love is always worth it; you sound very sensitive and i think a woman you date will be overjoyed to have such a thoughtful boyfriend! in my experience,
some people are in and out of relationships very fast (like the media personalities), while some marry their high school sweetheart, have 5 kids, and
remain happy forever! those people wouldn't need to consult a column, because they are content. Love does take work! I saw in a movie where a divorce lawyer said that if all the couples would put as much work into saving their marriage as they did in wrangling over divorce details, that a large pecentage of marriages would be saved!
I would say, take it slow, but follow your heart!
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 i agree with the others. love is the strangest thing one can not fathom, even though sometimes it can hurt and you will swear never to go back, funny enough you still find yourself back in the game tougher than ever. loving like you have never been hurt because it is a natural feeling one you will never want to let go, weird hey?
you sound scared and negative about relationships so dont enter any relationship until you are sure you are ready because you might meet the wrong one as its a norm in this game and it will just affirm your fears.
just loosen-up a bit and enjoy the moment while still can. good luck
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Ah your cynical and so was i for a long time, i went through a few relationships, some serious, most weren't. Until I met my boyfriend that I'm with now, and then I realised that i had gone through other relationships to gain experience and i think you know when you meet the right person, and if your not sure if you have, then you haven't. You will meet someone one day that totally blows you away, and you will understand why people keep trying and keep going back for more. When love goes wrong it hurts like hell but when it goes right it's the sweetest thing life can offer.
Keep the faith!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 January 2007):
 You know, I've had a lot of relationships. And all of them have ended. Every single one. Because you know, when you get into a relationship you have to know that it's going to end in one of two ways.
1) you get married
2) you break up
The one I'm in now has lasted, and it's been really, really good. Why? Because I've had other relationships to learn about myself and who exactly I'm compatible with. Every relationship I've had - good or bad, has taught me a little something about myself that I would've never known.
In my VERY personal opinion (meaning that I absolutely do not think everyone shares my view.), I think a big reason that a lot of relationships don't work is laziness. Relationships. Take. Work. A lot of it. And a lot of people just don't have that kind of time in life today. Careers eat up a lot of our time, so do video games, hobbies, travel, etc.
Not all relationships end in tragedy. My parents have been together for twenty happy years and their very in love. They have problems, yes, but they take time for each other to work it out. They realize that relationships take patience, time, effort and a real drive to make it work.
Even though relationships have their ups and downs, they're well worth the journey. Give it a shot. Even if you're not ready to jump into a full-fledged relationship, maybe try dating.
Good luck, sweetness.
Lots of relationships can be fulfilling, wonderful and fabulous.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Don't assume that when you have a relationship with someone you love...it will turn out bad, just because of what you hear and read.
Life is wonderful with someone you love by your side. If you love someone and have a comited relationship with anyone, just treat her with respect, don't lie and don't cheat on her...then you will have nothing to worry about. Communication is also a "must have" in any relationship!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 You have to live and learn. How can anyone possibly live their life without risk? Every single thing you do in life entails the risk of a bad outcome, but how will you know, the outcome could be more than you ever hope for, if you don't try?
Us women aren't all bad. I've been with my man nearly 6 years and I highly doubt it will end in tragedy, but that is a risk I am taking because he completes me and my life. Who is to say what will happen in the future, but for right now I am just content in the journey.
Please try and banish these cynical and doubting thoughts from your mind because if you go into the 'dating scene' already thinking your relationships won't work, then they probably won't because you will always be finding something to be wrong with them. Instead, try to enjoy your journey and discovering things about yourself that you never knew that only your partner in a relationship can bring out.
If all relationships end in tragedy how come I just read in the local paper about a couple who today celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary? They are sooo cute and were holding hands and said that their love has done nothing but grow over the years.
There is always hope my friend. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): You sound like a thinker. In my humble opinion despite all the heartaches that relationships can bring....life can be more fullfilling with someone at your side. What can be tricky is finding the right person.
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