A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:They say you "can't find a home in the arms of a man", I suppose meaning that a man can't provide you happiness or be 'the big thing' of your life. I just wonder, what is the key to happiness if it isn't love (as in a relationship)? Is it a sum of everything, or something specific (such as love)? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (8 January 2013):
 Love. It's the 5th element (after water, wind, fire and earth).
Sounds cheesy but that takes the humdrum out of life for me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): I think it's the sum of everything. Yes relationships are a major part of what makes us happy. But it's the sum of ALL your relationships, not one single relationship that makes you happy.Having close friends you trust, having a wider circle of friendships, having good healthy relationships with your family, having good relationships with the people you work with, this is what it means when people say relationships make you happy. and yes, a romantic relationship or marriage that is also good and healthy, is part of this too.but if you over-focus on any ONE relationship for happiness, then that's unhealthy. It might be clinging to one friend, or one family member, or to your intimate partner or spouse for happiness, when all other relationships are either non-existent (under-developed) or unhealthy. That's a recipe for disaster.I guess the moral of the story is that no ONE single person can make you happy. Not even if it's your partner or spouse. Your happiness has to come from having many good uplifting and supportive relationships in your life, not just revolving your life around one person.Other things that are very important to make you happy include pursuing your dreams and achieving goals that are meaningful to you. You can have a great supportive family and spouse, but if your job sucks - and work is where you spend most of your waking hours so a horrible job really does take its toll - you are not going to be a happy person overall and it will affect your outlook on life and maybe even make you unable to appreciate your relationships.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): Personally, I think it's just how you perceive everything. I don't think you can rely on anyone else but yourself to make you happy. Otherwise, it's just a recipe for disaster.
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (7 January 2013):
 I think that having someone special in your life (mate) makes up a portion of one's happiness.
I feel that you need to have your own individual hobbies, personal space, friends, family, ect.. Things that make up *you* My boyfriend and I realize this. Our differences make our relationship interesting yet we come together and love and enjoy each others company.
I could certainly live without him if it came to it, but would never want to. I will always have *me* & know that I would always be okay in my life no matter what happens. :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 January 2013):
 http://www.actionforhappiness.org/10-keys-to-happier-living
This website has some concrete ways for people to pursue happiness. Have a look and let us know what you think.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 January 2013):
 The key to happiness is to pretend, or imagine, that you are a wind indicator... and that life is the wind.....
Then, remember that you can point in the direction that the wind is coming... but you can't do much about it...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 January 2013):
The key to being happy is to be thankful for all your blessings. Reflect on the saying, "this too shall pass." Good times and bad times come and go. Your consciousness is a gift. Be present in the moment.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 January 2013):
 I think it's the sum of everything. I am a happy person and my partner is certainly a piece of that, but he's not everything. I am in a great job doing rewarding work and making enough money. I take really fun classes after work and on weekends to learn new skills and have a chance to be more creative. Personally I find my classes to be the thing I look forward to most all week.
As for a partner, it's important that your partner not just be there for the sake of being with someone. They have to challenge you and teach you new things. My partner and I don't have any of the same interests in terms of hobbies or day to day activities, so we're constantly teaching each other new things and getting exposed to different ideas. That was something that's always been missing with other guys and that detracted from my happiness.
I think people in general would be much happier if they went out and did things more than they watched other people doing them on TV. I love TV but I only watch it in small doses (like keeping up with my favorite shows rather than flipping channels).
I was not a happy person for awhile, so I changed jobs, moved cities, and picked up new hobbies and it was like a switch being flipped. You don't need a partner to be happy, so long as you have people around you who you can be close to. I was equally happy when I lived with my best friend as I am with my partner.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 January 2013):
 Who says you can't find a home in the arms of a man? All I could find was a quote from Diane Keaton a 66 year old single mom. You are basing your search for happiness on celebrity gossip?
Is the "big thing" what you base your happiness on? I have seen plenty of women go that route. Usually it's the "Big Wedding" sinking them in debt equaling twice their annual income, and making everyone around them miserable so they can have one perfect day.
So what is the key to happiness? We are designed to be happy when living in a family. Reject that simple wisdom at your own peril. But, that is not all. You cannot be happy when you are living in contradiction to you core beliefs. Also you can not be happy if your core beliefs are not true.
So it is a sum of the way you live your life, including specific things, including love. Even including the love of a good man.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous12345150 +, writes (7 January 2013):
there is no specific "key" it is all about your perception "life is what you make of it" is a good quote.but from my own experience from being at a very low point in my life and now in quite a happy time,i think it is all about having goals that you regularly set your self and meet,eg.fitness goalswork goalsuni goalsgoals for your hobbiesetc basically having a very full life as a individual person is the way to go,in relationships when 2 people are glued to each other and they may seem happy but once reality sets in and you realise your life is just intwined with some one else's that is not a good thing at all,you dont need anyone to happy,just yourselfa partner should be the icing on the cake,not the cake itself,i learned this the hard way :)
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (7 January 2013):
Knowing yourself first this is not an easy task.Because as we get older we are changing all the time Know yourself first and in so doing you will find peace and happiness within .We must love ourselves First then we can decide what makes us happy.Loving the right person is wonderful but hard work.But you will have to decide is it worth it.One thing we can be sure in life is change. Best Luck Nora B.
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