A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can someone please tell me the difference between a true commitment phobic man and one that is just a bit emotional and afraid of being hurt in a relationship since he once was. Help don't want to waste anymore time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 I believe in some cases, or even most cases it is the same thing. I think that most "commitment phobics" have been hurt in their past, or even seen someone close to them really hurt through love, probably their parents, and dont want the same to happen to them. So they dont stay with people too long to avoid having feelings because they fear getting hurt. You need to talk to whoever this person is and ask where they see it going if you get involved.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (22 June 2009):
A guy who is a tru commitment phobe is the one you see coming a mile off, marriage is off the cards and as soon as you decide to e.g. holiday together hes out the door, basically hes the guy who wants the fun but thats about it.The one whos afraid of getting hurt usally judges the past on his future and vows never to let the same thing happen, guys hate being hurt as they struggle in handling it and showing it 'the right way'. It may just be that hes got a bit of both, hes holding back due to an experiance and thats making him fall under commitment phobe, you know the real him and if hes stuck around in time for you to ask the question then maybe hes more your second option kind of guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): A commitment phobe would be someone who has a pattern of short lived relationships and has never reached a level of trust in a relationship such as unconditional love and pushes that kind of love away. A commitment phobe is an emotionally unavailable man in the truest sense.
A person afraid of getting hurt can also be emotionally unavailable and that person has a lot of internal work to do before they are "ready" to be in a relationship.
The bottom line is both these types are emotionally unavailable so a committed relationship is not possible.
Commitment is inevitable if a man is living his truth and it is the right time for him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Is this your own assessment or did he say himself he was afraid of commitment?
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