A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend got into a big fight about 5 days ago. This is the biggest we've had in the year we've been together; granted we never really fought for starters. Our relationship is long distance and is been getting harder to handle because his parents don't like me for religious reasons. (Yes I believe and love God they're just anal over "certain ways" or something..) We went on a break for four months before he was sent to Iraq. I left him the first time because I liked another, whom later showed me I was wrong. I tried dating others during our break but I kept seeing him so when he was sent away I noticed my true feelings for him and awaited for his return; which was in September. I paid for his plane ticket and threw a surprise party for him and gave him gifts to take back to remember me. Lately I have been noticing small things that become larger with distance. Ones that changes who I am and I'm someone entirely different. I know that the way I am in person is much better, especially with him. When we're together, we don't fight; it's like paradise when he is. The topic arose to who moving where and then we decided he were to move to me. After our big fight I realized how selfish I was with him and now I decided to move up to him for awhile. But he won't talk to me... Right now I feel full blame though I know it takes two to tango, I still feel everything is my fault. I'm always one to blame myself but I said things that hurt him and I was emotionally distressed at that moment and later I calmed down left him a voice mail regarding my words. I tried to call him after 4 days of not talking and he still didn't want to talk to me...He basically old my friend that I wasn't giving him space..no matter what I said so I don't know what are his actions.. I do know that, in my heart, without a doubt,I love and want to marry him. He's the type that sent me so many corny things and told me I was the most amazing woman in his life and the only one for him. Right now I feel half and half with this. I've been told by a lot of guys silly things that have defiled the meanings and so my mind continues to dwell on such things and is trying to fool my heart that he's going to leave me just like the rest. I'm trying to give him his space, I was doing okay with it till I was allowed to try and call him yesterday, but he didn't answer and I started to break. I feel that no matter what I do or send, I feel ignored. I don't know how to distract myself to not think of him leaving or doing negative things in his time of space, such as leaving me. My heart keeps crying out to him and I don't know how to create independence for myself in this time of need. I really want to improve myself so I don't have to hurt him anymore. And I want to be stronger for him so I won't feel like a downer and depressed around my friends. Please give me advice other than "Give him space blah blah"; I know I need to but I don't know what he's thinking..and that's what hurts the most...Please help me...Thank you for reading.
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a break, depressed, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Long Distance relationships, are pointless, why don't you be with someone you can actually grow and develop as a partner with?
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