A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex and i were together for 2 years and broke up 2 years ago. a few months back he got back in contact with me saying he missed me and was sorry for how things ended between us and i was happy to see him ive missed him a lot. since then we talk often hang out go out but we pay for ourselves just like friends. well we slept together a little bit ago and it was amazing it was more intimate then any time i can remember with him but afterwards he says that it was a one tme thing and wont happen again and it doesnt mean were back together. thats fine but the thing thats driving me crazy is when we hang out he acts just like he did when we were together and if a guy flirts asks me out or comments on how i look he gets real defensive. if i get asked a question he answers for me and if hes talking about himself he'll ask me for conformation. he has these rules he is so stubborn about his rules and what i dont understand is he feels an ex is an ex for a reason theres no need to bother with an ex after the fact. he wont be friends or have any contact with an ex but when it comes to me he made the initial connection and started the friendship he calls me when hes upset or just wants to talk. hes the one whos always asking for us to hang out hes even the one who started the love session but yet when it comes to getting back together he wont budge. he has told me if we didnt have a past hed be trying to be with me but we cant because it didnt work before it wont work again. yet hes extremely flirtatious and the fact we slept together i dont understand whats really going on. is he interested or am i just wasting my time and hoping he'll get over his dumb rule and get back with me? all his friends tell me we'll get back together but i think theyre just saying that to be nice.....HELP
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female
reader, didda123  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 I think you need to have a serious chat with him.
Find out exactly what he wants from this relationship now. If it is purely just friendship as it seems i would honestly just move on.
This relationship will do you no good as it is and it will actually be holding you back from meeting someone who would be good for you.
It seems he doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to either.
Did he have a relationship with someone after you broke up and if so is that relationship completely over or do you think there may be a possibility that he is feeling low after that relatonship has come to an end and he is keeping you sweet until he finds out what happens there?
I have no idea if that could be a possibility but i don't think you should continue seeing him on the terms he wants when you obviously have feelings that have been opened up again.
By letting him go you may just help him come to his senses and he may realize just how much he misses you.
Good luck x
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