A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[OP's own title] I love my bf so much and we have a blast together but when it comes down to sex he has a hard time satisfying me. He always ends up finishing before i do.What should i do?i dont want to leave him but like every woman i want to feel satisfied.Is love a big enough force to keep me by his side eventhough he doesnt satidfy me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, StrayTogether.com +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Love and sex are both important to most people and one shouldn't have to choose between the two. If you're in a committed relationship and want it to last, communication is the key. The two of you need to be able to discuss the matter and find ways that you both can be satisfied sexually.
As far as his finishing first, I don't think that really matters, as long as you both "finish." (After all, that simultaneous orgasm that everyone seeks is quite rare, so SOMEONE has to finish first, and does it matter if it's him or you?)
If you only orgasm through vaginal stimulation, then his finishing first becomes more important than it is to someone like me who orgasms through clitoral stimulation, but it's not an impossible situation. He can still take the time to help you orgasm after he's concluded his business with his hands, a vibrator, or dildo. If you orgasm through clitoral stimulation, then, clearly, he can take the time to satisfy you whether it's before, during, or after his orgasm.
A caring partner will take the time to ensure that you enjoy yourself. Initiate a conversation with him at a time when you're both relaxed, but be careful to NOT have this conversation at the onset, during, or immediately following sex. This is a plan-ahead sort of conversation, not to be had when sexual expectations are at their highest.
Fondly,
Jill
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 only leave him if he's not willing to try and satisfy you. if he want to be coached just work with him. if not... move it along. sex is a HUGE part of a relationship so no amount of "love" can help you get over an unwilling partner.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (3 August 2010):
Look out for a film called "Love and Sex" It's a few years old now, but it's a romantic comedy about love and sex in relationships.
Sounds like you are a bit young to be suited to the kind of relationship you're in. Maybe get out and experience some more relationships before settling down?
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A
female
reader, lilxtaxxxiii +, writes (3 August 2010):
Even if you weren't in love with this guy and he's not in love with you, you still would have every right as a woman and human being to receive pleasure, enjoy sex, and reach orgasm.
Sex isn't about what's kinky, or how flexible you are, or how many tricks you know. It's all about trust. If you don't trust the person you are having sex with, I can guarantee you it won't be as enjoyable as if you did trust him.
Since you love this guy, and I'm sure he loves you, it wouldn't hurt to talk to him about this issue. Be open about your feelings, trust that he will listen to you, let him know that you love him, but you have trouble reaching orgasm. I've been there myself, and when I finally got over my shyness and talked to the guy about how I have trouble reaching orgasm, he was more than happy to change things around so we could both reach the point of no return! You could always take matter into your own hands as well and change your sex patterns around. When you're making love, take his hand and guide his touch to where you like it most, etc. From my experience, guys really love it when girls get aggressive and take the lead for a change. You could always help yourself out, too, during sex, and let him watch.
Love is important. Sex is important. If you are left unsatisfied night after night, the passion will fizzle, and neither of you will be happy. Trust that he loves you and is will to change things around to satisfy you. If he's not, girl, throw him to the curb, because if he's that selfish in the sack, he's probably selfish in all other aspects of life as well!
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Well everybody says 'Sex isnt everything' and its not, but its a BIG part of a relationship. You can be madly in love with somebody but if he's never giving you an orgasm, you're going to start to wonder who else can.
If it's him coming too early that is the problem, then get him to perform oral on you because you have intercourse. That way you are going to get satisfied without him having the need to come (hopefully). Then you can either swap the roles and perform oral on him where you can control the amount of pleasure and therefore point of no return, or go straight to the main deed. But by varying whose getting pleasured, things will last longer, both sex and him.
But if hes not prepared to change your sex pattern or work with new techniques then maybe you just have to realise that hes lazy in bed, and that he doesnt go by the rule 'Give to recieve'. This is when you should look for that other person who can.
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A
female
reader, mimisoph3 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 honestly love is love and sex is sex but if you are talking about spending the rest of your life with this guy and sex doesnt satisfy you then i'm pretty sure your love will die sooner or later. love is the connection the emotional attraction to each other,two hearts beating together. but if sex isnt satisfying then the love will dye off and get boring you'll become sadden and depressed.every relationship needs sex to spice up the relationship if your not feeling the sexual tention in him then you wont be quite satisfied in the relationship..maybe he doesnt enjoy the sex either? which wwould be even worste because then you guys actually dont belong together..good luck
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