A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I posted this question yesterday and still have no answers. Could you please re-post and perhaps tag it as something else and not 'friends.' Many thanks!I met this guy through work a long time ago. Recently I saw him while out and couldn’t stop thinking about him. I didn’t stop to say hi because our meeting was so brief and so long ago I didn’t think he’d remember me. A friend of mine used to work with him and after I told her about this she said I should email him as she has his email address. I’d never done something like that but there was something about this guy. So I emailed him, told him we met ages ago, asked what he’s been doing since then, and then I also told him that I hope he doesn’t mind me being too forward and told him I think he’s gorgeous (hey, you only live once). So he emailed me back the next day, said yes it was forward, and then asked me questions and so on. We then started to exchange emails (both of us would take about 3 days to reply to each other). He then started to ask about my weekend plans and at one point said to me he has no idea what to do on the coming weekend, and ended his email by saying “hmmm…what to do…?” I felt brave and so I joked with him and said he should take me out (I gave him my cell no. and told him to call me if he’s up for it). Sadly he ignored this email. I then figured he wasn’t interested and decided to let it go without emailing him again.Exactly three weeks after my ‘invite’ he emails me, apologizes for taking so long to reply (it was xmas, nye, etc), and then ends the email by saying ‘forward again wasn’t it…’At this point I get confused. What does he want now? If he wanted to go out he would have said so, if he wasn’t interested why come back after all this time and mention the asking out? So I bite the bullet and reply to him after 5 days and say that yes it was forward but he seems like an interesting guy and all I meant was that we should hang out…I ended my message like that to see if he’ll offer to meet up. I’ve done my part and I don’t want to ask again. It’s been two weeks since this message and he’s gone silent on me again.I suppose I need to let this one go but what is he thinking? Why did he come back and mention the asking out if he wasn’t interested?Is it the fact that he doesn’t know me and he’s apprehensive about going out with almost a stranger? (he’s got my Facebook so he does know what I look like)I don’t know if this helps but he’s been single for a while, he’s always been polite in his emails and he always responds to all my comments and questions. We’re both in our mid 20s.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much guys (esp didda123 and Irish49). I guess I just needed a kick to get me to forget this idiot. Irish49, your message was great, thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): Agreed! There definitely is nothing to chase here...Long over due replies to your emails is the work of a guy who is playing you. When a guy truely likes a female, he wants to contact her...a lot. You like him and now you are struggling emotionally, with his 'confusing' behaviours. He's keeping you hanging. Guys that are seriously into pursuing a relationship, are never that forgetful and never wait this long to email the girl they like. When a man wants to be with a special girl, he will never allow her to be confused or baffled. He would, never ever allow her to wonder, for fear that she'd get frustrated with his antics and bail out. He's not doing this, is he. He's a flake and you keep living on the hope he'll email aand want to begin something credible here. Now...stop doing that to yourself. He being an unreliable, disrespectful guy and you need to accept the reality here, because dating someone who is good for you, shouldn't keep you wondering. BIG red flag, hun and you need to grasp that, rationally. This won't be easy because women tend to deny, ignore and justify all the bad signs about a guy who isn't right for them. Get smart and stop contact today with him...and just move on to better, more wonderful opportunities out there. He's not for you and it's his loss. Take care dear and be strong.
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A
female
reader, didda123  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 No i wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking that you are chasing him as shna has advised you i think he is a grown man and if he can't take the fact that you are emailing him as a hint that you like him you shouldn't have to spell it out to him.
He is definately not worth your bother use your energy on someone who deserves it.
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (28 January 2009):
I personally wouldn't bother with him any longer i think he is playing with you.
Why don't you turn it around when he eventually replies you take much longer to reply to him or even better don't! Let him have to get in touch with you again and at least you will know that if he doesn't he really isn't that bothered!
I honestly don't think he is wanting a relationship with you as you have given him plenty of opportunity but he has just got you hanging on his every word.
I am positively sure he would be up for sex though i think that was a leading question he posed to you when he said "hmmm what to do" but honestly don't go there or you will feel even worse.
You deserve better than this loser - dump him x
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 if he says your being forward again or comments about it again you should just say that you no what you want and your not afraid to go after it . just let him no you dont wanted to be chasing something wen theres nothing to chase x x
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