A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am running in circles trying to figure out what to do. Over a year ago, I met a guy who I knew would instantly be apart of my life. Though he lives almost an hour away and visits were bare minimum.. We spoke almost non-stop, venting to each other about our struggles and finding to have more and more in common. He was always there to comfort me whenever I was upset, and always said he would come pick me up at any moment's notice if I needed a hug. While I would help him with his girl problems, I envied them for being in his presence. I was infatuated beyond all measures. This time last year was the last time I saw him. I stayed at his house with a friend for a weekend. I found out from his friends that I was all he talked about and they kept asking if I had feelings for him. I said no, and nothing happened between us although we slept in same bed. One day during that weekend I happened to receive a from text my friend while she was sitting across from me asking if I wanted to kiss him and I said no. I found out later that he had read the text and assumed I didn't like him at all. The real reason was that I did not want to pursue someone who was at a distance. We kept talking but our conversations slowly became shorter and shorter. Last March I was raped(not by him) and I was so thoroughly embarassed that I had to end all communication with him in order to save myself from being humiliated. His best friend told me he was sufficiently depressed, as was I, for quite sometime. Then last August he happened to message me and we got to talking and I explained, and we were close again. Since then he has wrote me countless love letters saying that he's in love with me and wants to see me this February but I don't know. I do know that he is the only guy I have ever truly loved. He knows every flaw of my existence and still loves me all the same. I know that is rare and unusual but it upsets me. I have tried to tell him that he can do better than me and to move on because I have hurt him already and I don't want to hurt him again. I have been going through extensive therapy to handle the PTSD I'm suffering with from the rape, but I don't find myself to be stable enough to see him or involve myself in anything at the time being. What do I do about this? I miss him more than anything..
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I think that's exactly what I'm going to do :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): Why don't you take thinks one step at a time. You care about him, he cares about you. There are always many obstacles to every relationship. The rape is awful, and I am sorry that you had to go through that. But it sounds like you are pushing him away because you still have issues from the rape, not because of anything he did.Go see him, or let him visit. See how it goes, talk about what you both want for the future. Take your time, and tell him that you NEED time to deal with what happened. He will wait for you if its meant to be.
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