A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya About a year ago i met this guy through mutual friends and we instantly clicked and had a lot of chemistry and whenever we saw each other on a night out we would get with each other (not sleep with him) anyway then i found out he had a girlfriend so i imedietly stopped getting with him as i dont want to be a home wrecker. A few months later i drunkenly slept with his friend and had a bit of a thing with him but nothing serios.However this is where it gets complicated him and his gf where on a break for a week or so and we slept together! thinking it was fine because its nothing serios with his friend. But his friend was angry with me but still didnt want anything serios. He has currently broken up with his girlfriend for good and we were out in town last night where he clearly stated he want to sleep with me again so we kissed a lot but i couldnt do that to him as i dont want him and his friend to fall out. even though i really like him not his friend!so this is the question i got a drunk text of him saying next time i was free im of to his house, which i replied maybe if your lucky not wanting to sound to eager. the next day sending me a text appologising for the text he sent me.Did he mean his drunken text?What is he looking for from me?and How can i show him that im girlfriend material?Thankyou x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyouu , i will take your advice on board. i think i need to break away and find someone else
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 A lot of people drink after a break up and immediately look for consolation. He seems to be free of a relationship, but that doesn't mean they can't get back together, or he is ready for another relationship. Some people break up for good, just so that they can have that space to rethink things. They also say for good, because it feels better to have a resolution, than to torture themselves with questions like if there's another chance. He is looking to jump into a new relationship to get over an old one. He is looking at everything through his old lens. He can't get over a break up that soon. Sex helps people forget things. It's when you do other things outside the bedroom he starts thinking about his ex, comparing you to her.
it's too early to think of yourself as girlfriend material because right now he is no boyfriend material. It's not good to start another relationship right after a break up.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 He just wants to have sex with you again. I don't see anything more than that from the text you quoted us. Most men want a woman they can respect and they're apt to respect someone who respects herself. A drunken text isn't a good sign in that context......
Its not really clear, but I get the impression that you slept with him when he and his then-gf were on a break for one week; then in addition had a fling with his friend.
How can you get him to see you as girlfriend material? Sorry, but it may already be too late for that, at least with this one.
The way you get a guy to view you as a potential girlfriend is to NOT have sex with him. You let him be the one to ask you out on a date - a real date, to coffee, lunch, or out to dinner, or a movie, concert, go bowling, whatever, NOT to go over to his house - not until you've been dating several months and really gotten to know one another. You act a little hard to get - I don't mean play games with him, I mean you act pleasant and friendly, you're honest, but not over eager: if you get a call or text from him to "go somewhere next Friday" and you already have plans for next Friday, you don't drop them to see him. You tell him "Friday won't work" and then suggest another day to get together instead.
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