A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel silly asking such a personal question to a bunch of strangers but... am I a lesbian? I know I am attracted to women sexually; I have fallen in love with two women in my life and have only ever fantasised about my own sex. The thing is... I seem to meet more men that I am attracted to than women. When I fall for a guy, I get all the usual 'symptoms' of falling in love, I really feel physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to them. However, when it comes to sex, although I really enjoy the intimacy, I get nothing from it physically. I have never been with a women, but I think about it a lot. A couple of my straight friends say that they have this fantasy, but wouldn't actually want to do it... whereas sometimes I feel like I am longing to give pleasure to another women. Sometimes I am so sure I am gay that I want to shout it to the world, but then I will meet a guy and the confusion starts again. Any advice?
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (14 March 2011):
 Ill try not to repeat what has already been said.
What i want to say is, why do you feel the need to label yourself? You should just enjoy been young and experiment with your sexuality to whatever level you feel comfortable with. If you meet a women you want to sleep with then do it, simple. It doesnt make you gay, the same way the sleeping with or been attrached to a man does not make you straight. Just give yourself time to explore what and who you like.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): you may be bi-curious. Alot of people don't believe in this but I consider myself bi-curious. When it comes to relationships i have only ever been with men but I have always had a very strong attraction to women as well. I am not sure that i would ever act on it but the feelings are there. I would experiment a little, without hurting anyone that is. It is obvious you like men but what you need to figure out is if you would want an open relationship with a woman as well. If you feel that you could indeed have a relationship with woman as well i would say you are bisexual. If its just a curiosity than you are not. I don't think you are a full on lesbian though.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 If you are a newbie to sex, don't be surprised to realize that not many people enjoy it the first time. You should try it with women, and men. Still, you can't get a definite answer overnight. You are probably bisexual. I think the confusion comes from being in a visually dominated world where women flaunt it more often than men. Women are more likely to be seen as an object. I have to admit I like looking at women more than men. You see beautiful women in swimsuit calendars and you find pleasure looking at them. And then at another section you see a firemen calendar and you wonder if they are really gay. Big muscles and thighs in a men does nothing to me. A voluptuous woman arouses me more. I have little desires doing things to a woman and I am not as confused as you. I would say you are more attracted to women than men but ultimately it's a man who can give you more pleasure. A mechanical dildo can never compare to the real thing. Have fun exploring but don't jump into a serious relationship so quickly.
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