A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is there such a thing as constructive critism. My boyfriend says there isn't and that it a saying made up by business people. He says in reality its an oxymoron. Weve argued about it but he's adamant theres no such thing. Can you help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Why argue? If he believes there is none, let him believe whatever he wants.
One day he will know the truth.
You cannot force anyone to believe your stand by ramming it down their throats.
Even though you are right, his mind is blocked and he cannot accept the truth.
I will just move on.Anyone can believe anything they want.
The truth is out there.
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 definition: Constructive criticism is a compassionate attitude towards the person qualified for criticism. Having higher experience, gifts, respect, knowledge in specific field and being able to verbally convince at the same time, this person is intending to uplift the other person materially, morally, emotionally or spiritually. For high probability in succeeding his compassionate criticism the critic has to be in some kind of healthy personal relationship with the other one, which is normally a parent to child, friend to friend, teacher to student, spouse to spouse or any kind of recognized authority in specific field. Hence the word constructive is used so that something is created or visible outcome generated rather than the opposite. Participatory learning in pedagogy is based on these principles of constructive criticism. Here the saying applies that example is better than precept.
There can be tension between constructive and useful criticism; for instance, a critic might usefully help an individual artist to recognize what is poor or slapdash in their body of work—but the critic may have to appear harsh and judgmental in order to state this. But useful criticism is a practical part of constructive criticism.
Gena Bullock
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Of course constructive criticism is reality - you'll just keep on making mistakes if you never at least try and learn from them. It sounds to me like he's either not very opened minded, or just can't take criticism! But you gotta be careful what you say to people when you give them 'constructive criticism', as people's feelings can often be hurt through this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): what if you changed the term to helpful critism. That's what it is. Sorry your bf is too closed minded to see that. Not everything is black and white.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Constructive criticism is this site. It's pointing out areas which may need improvement. It's not placing blame or trying to make the other feel inadequate, but it's "advice" which if taken may improve the one who receives it.
Remember this when doing so with someone you're with. It can be taken as an attack because of it being improper to try to change someone in a relationship, when you're suppose to be with them for who they are in the first place. This form of constructive criticism needs to be directed in a way that the change improves the relationship as a whole without being viewed as one persons issues.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): In my opinion, 'constructive criticism' is only constructive when the person receiving it can take criticism. In some cases, people just can't take criticism, they might take it as a personal insult or become hugely self conscious whereas in other cases people enjoy the challenge of improving on the area that has been criticised. Although, it can be argued that the entire concept of 'constructive criticism' and whether or not it exists is subjective and therefore simply just a matter of opinion. In other words, maybe you should just agree to disagree? xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Constructive criticism is a reality. Everyone knows it. It's when one learns from one's mistakes when someone else points them out. If he can't accept some of it then he's a moron. You can be the oxy if you want!
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