A
female
age
41-50,
*irenaBlusera
writes:My fellow aunts, I would like to know if you all ever wonder about this. What impact do you think that your answers have had on someone? Is it possible that an answer on this site has changed someone's life? I'm asking out of curiosity. I often wonder how I've made a difference, and I was curious as to whether anyone feels the same way. I like this site, because I came here seeking advice about a guy, and I also like to help out by answering people's questions.Opinions, please? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 My answers are spectacular....... ;) Just kidding.....
I'd like to think that some anwers do help. Sometimes they may come across as a little harsh but sometimes people need to hear the truth. The difficult thing is that we never really know both sides of a story or if the poster is in a logical frame of mind.
I don't like it much when posters are instructed on how to do something wrong, like chase a married person, cheat etc. I try to help people to think things through. I thinbk it's better to do what is generically good as opposed to what makes us feel good. That is because what makes us feel good is not always what we deserve. It may be what we want but not what we deserve. In other words, many people come here looking for validation or permission do do what suits them, the rest of the world be damned. I don't give that kind of behavior a green light.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 I can guarantee that if the poster is 13-15 yrs old and it's about their intense, one of a kind love, and "definitely not a crush" on their teacher...our answers fall completely on deaf ears.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): Although I am sometimes hard and harsh in my response I truly believe that my responses makes a reader sit back and take stock of the situation. I have also used a lot of the posters responses in my own life, I have actually grown as a person just by reading some of the sad, heartfelt stories and the amazing, empathetic responses. We are all human and yes, we mess up but when we ask a question we also need to be open to the criticisms that come our way. Yes, sometimes it is perceived as judgmental, even harsh, but we sometimes do not want to hear the truth, we expect condonement. I would rather tell it as it is, as opposed to a mistaken believe that what i am doing is right.
For me what is really really sad is that people that write in about their affairs, even after the invaluable guidance still continue their wrong doing. So much of time has been invested by all giving recommendations and so forth, but the poster gets defensive, and later on after reading other postings it is clearly evident that that poster is still indulging.
What is really enlighting to read are the stories where posters say, been there, done that AND LEARNT FROM MY MISTAKES. People here share so openly and are so giving of their thoughts, emotions and valuable time.
I am a firm believer that people are generally good, and I have read so many honest stories. I have honestly learnt more from this site about myself, how to work at my my marriage, how to deal with my kids and friends, and my in laws and just generally life's situations.
I can honestly say that the answers do impact our lives, not just the original poster but someone who is going through the same or similar situation. If an answer has changed someone life, then it is even better. It depends on the individual whether they want to take the advice and act on it. Some of us, ask the hard questions but we do not talk the talk. In life there are takers and givers, we just have to understand where we fit in and how we are going to live our lives. We all have choices and most often than not, we choose our destiny and path in life.
From myself to all the agony aunts & uncles out there that take the time to respond, You have helped in and have also opened up my mind and heart. A big thank you to everyone. I know that you are making a difference. However small, but it is a difference nevertheless. God Bless.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (5 April 2009):
SirenaBlusera is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for sharing, everyone. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): You read the question, and you ask yourself if you can make a contribution. If the answer is yes, then you do your best. You try to be compassionate, but sometimes you recognize that you have to give advice that the person doesn't want to hear. Most times you don't get feedback from the person who asked, and yes, you wonder if it did any good. And yes, you worry that you might have done some harm.
Once in a while you get a PM that lets you know you helped. That helps you carry on. But I do think that most of us are very conscious that we can inadvertantly do harm.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): For what its worth, I came here seeking advice. What I got wasn't what I wanted to hear, but it helped me a lot. I got a perspective that my friends and family weren't giving me. I went with the advice I received and it went well.
Denny, you actually were the one to help me out, thanks man!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): All we can do is give advice based on our personal experiences. We offer advice more than solutions. Sometimes one may become the other, but that is entirely up to the individual. In some cases, I certainly hope I have convinced people to get out of dangerous situations, or to take a look at their dangerous behavior. Some of the questions are very serious and our answers CAN help them see a way out! Those are the questions I look for! Those are the questions I relate the most with!
So, I do believe we can make a difference in someones life, but I wouldn't say we alone are capable of that. Although, collectively, WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Britt
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female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (4 April 2009):
i think answers hold a great influence over the actions and attitudes of the seekers, i like that about it, without that there would be no point! maybe not change there life but lead them down a different path or change their set views... depending on the situation and the response you get. Some answers have that unique quality that make them stand out like no other, the special ones that have that personal meaning makes the most difference i feel.
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female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 i know that when i asked and people answered it gave me atleast a new prespective , most of the thigns people ask are stuff they cant talk to with their friends so i believe that any answer that comes from expereience would help someone
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