A
female
age
30-35,
*yoish
writes:My boyfriend is a wrestler and sometimes he has to find rides to the shows that are really far away and recently he got a ride from his friends but apparently the only way he could get a ride is if he stayed the night with the person carpooling who just so happens to be a girl. It was both him and his guy friend. I let him know it made me feel uncomfortable and I thought it was inappropriate but he said it was the only way he could make it. Well I found out there was another girl that stayed the night and she's been texting him and I found out the other girl said her friend liked him. I confronted him again and he told me nothing was going on, she likes him but they're just friends. Shortly after the friend of the girl that likes him told me her friend deleted his number to not cause problems. I noticed she still texts him and there were a bunch of missed calls from her.I confronted him again and he said the calls were days apart and he got mad at me when I told him I find it inappropriate for her to keep calling and to lie about deleting his number. He responded with "we're just going to argue so I'm done with this conversation" What should I do?What should I say?
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 August 2012):
 When some girls want something or someone, they go after it. And they don't take a hint until someone almost gets nasty with them that the attention is unwelcome. So, it isn't surprising to me. I've known some men to do this as well...even though you completely ignore them, they continue to try and try.
A
female
reader, kyoish +, writes (18 August 2012):
kyoish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't find it odd that he's not replying I just think it's strange that she would keep sending these texts if he's "actually" ignoring them.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 August 2012):
Why would you find it odd he is not responding or texting back? He isn't interested in her, so that is the proper thing to do. Honestly, most men won't stick their necks out and tell a woman to stop her behavior. He is probably just ignoring her and hoping she goes away.
Why does she continue? Because she likes your boyfriend. So, I would continue to keep your radar up, but deal with your boyfriend directly. Don't worry about what the girl is doing...you cannot control her anyway.
I would let it go for awhile and see how things go. If he is ignoring the texts and has no contact with her, then I would choose to believe him for the time being. You can always give him an ultimatum later on if you aren't happy and you're thinking about leaving.
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A
female
reader, kyoish +, writes (18 August 2012):
kyoish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE:
Well, we calmly discussed it and worked things out BUT, when i told him I didn't like the friend of the girl who's house they stayed at calling my boyfriend and sending him messages saying "call me before you sleep" and "give you something to dream about ;)" he said he didn't respond or ever call her. I believe him but Ive been thinking, if she's "just a friend" and keeps calling and sending messages, wouldn't he have told her to stop speaking to him that way? I mean after we discussed it and I told him I was not comfortable with her doing that. If not, should I say something to him about it? I just find it odd if he's not responding or calling back, why would she keep doing it.
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A
female
reader, chick989  +, writes (17 August 2012):
if my boyfriend did this to me it would be the end but I know it's easier said than done. you need to get out of this relationship for your own self worth. he should have chosen not to go rather than to spend the night with two girls! first he stays with a girl then rubs your nose in it by communicating further with her. ask him if he'd like it if you and a friend spent the night with two guys.
I hope you find the strength to reevaluate this relationship and realise you deserve more x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): I know that it worries you what's going on with your boyfriend and this girl and honestly, it could be nothing. He could be telling the truth. But a good way to make him mad and want to do something to get back at you would to be to continue bugging him about it. I learned this the hard way. My advice would be to lay low for a while and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 August 2012):
 Why does he need to rely in rides?
You BF and stop replying to her text or block her number.. I can't see why you are mad at HER, HE gave her the number....
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (16 August 2012):
What has he said when you confront him about it? Just that nothing is going on?
It would bother me too, but I think there are only a few things you can do. First, you can believe he is telling you the truth that nothing is going on. Does he still do things with you? Does he spend time with you? Does he communicate with you? Or, are these things also issues?
The other thing you can do is tell him you don't like the phone calls and that you want to spend some time apart because you're no longer sure of your relationship with him. If you do this though, you have to be ready to put action behind your words.
Honestly, A LOT of people these days just hand out their numbers to people when they shouldn't. Men should not be handing out their numbers to members of the opposite sex when they have a girlfriend already.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (16 August 2012):
You have caught your boyfriend in lies, the excuse for staying the night at the other girl's house was incredibly weak so he was likely dishonest about it being innocent, and he is not respecting you or the relationship. When you confront him, he goes into denial mode and avoids the topic. He's doing things which you have told him make you uncomfortable.
These are all clear signs of cheating. If he hasn't cheated, he is well on the way to doing it. Trust is the foundation upon which a healthy relationship must be built, and your boyfriend is showing he isn't trustworthy. You've attempted to talk to him and he refuses, so unfortunately it may not be possible to work through this. Your only option, if you want to save the relationship, is to let him know that this is serious and if he won't talk to you about it then you're done.
Best of luck!
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