A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm sorry, I am so lost, confused, and hurt right now. this may be a little long. i acted rash last night- i called this girl on block i suspected my live- in bf of three years has been seeing, i never met her before but she figured it was me and told me yes, im with your boyfriend. yada yada. the reason why things have gotten so outof hand with me is because he's been very secretive, hiding his cell, locking it, acting differently. he says he's going to his moms house- a block away but then spends hours there. last weekend he said he went bowling with some guys he met in nj, and according to her fb she went bowling too. on a double date. and he liked that status. this week he was looking up go karts in nj, we live in ny, he swears its to take me, but the exact place he got directions from and was looking at is the same place she went to tonight, and he had his cell phone off since he left for nj. what i don't get is all these coincidences, and the lack of names or numbers or proof of contact with anyone in nj but this girl. him and i live together, he's on parole and only been home two months from doing his third time in jail for parole violation. he's not supposed to leave the state. i feel very lost and confused and crazy. i cant believe i stalked out this girl and went on his fb. he wouldn't add me as a friend because he said he deactivated it, but that wasn't true. when i asked him if i could go with him to nj he said he wasn't going. but i told him i changedmy mind,then he went. he swears that he wasn't with her tonight, but i dont know, its so coincidental, its confusing and i feel so hurt and mislead.
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female
reader, Hashi  +, writes (3 April 2011):
Seriously chick wake up and smell the fermented coffee! This man is cheating on you, lying to you left right and centre. Don't be one of those silly females who confront the suspected other woman and then when they get told the truth flip the story around to think the other woman is lying to break your relationship apart and get with your man. There aren't even red flags flying, its bold neon signs flashing at you and you are choosing to ignore them. Its unfair when someone goes behind your back and does shady things but once you find out and you stay around all bewildered that's really your cross to bear. Leave the man alone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): so ive read ur question and the added bit on the answers and id like to know...are u really dating him? really is he actually ur boyfriend??because i dont want to be mean here but it looks very much like your the one stalking him. like you like him and that is his girlfriend but u maybe have psychological issues and are in a make believe world on this whole situation. I mean hes always with her, on fb their a couple and your fb is fake under a fake name and all with no mutual friends to any of them. Seems really dodgy to me...sorry.Meghan
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): R u really that blind? Omg how much more proof do u need that he is cheating? Do u want to catch them in action. I feel like your 1 of those that even if u do catch him as soon as he tells u that he's sorry you 1 run back to him. Cause pretty much that's what your doing after the girl told u she is dating him. I think u need to dump him and get u a guy that u could trust and doesn't hide anything from u.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): It's time to face the fact that he's cheating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): I feel really sorry for you here but he is plain and simply cheating on you.He is always with this girl, you called and she admitted he was there, he liked the status about the double date (he was clearly her date), he said something was for you and he takes her, you want to go somewhere with him and he decides not to go but the second you back out hes gone...hes cheating!!!You should just confront him and leave...you can and deserve much better than that, dont accept and dont stay in denial about it either.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 April 2011):
 Maybe I did not quite get your story, but if you called the girl and she said yes I am with your boyfriend... what "coincidences " are you talking about , your suspicions are right and he is cheating.
Why should she have lied to you ? To hurt a woman she does not even know ? That's beyond spiteful, it's just against logic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Youre more than likely to find a real gentleman who is honest, doesnt cheat, and doesnt hide things from his girl IF he hasnt done time in the slammer. You can do better and know that... dont stay with this a$$hole cause you have low confidence. Find yourself a good guy for the love of God. Regards.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): btw, him and i have spoken about this girl, but he told me he doesn't see her or spend time with her at all. but his facebook is pretty much all him and her liking eachothers status's and links/ comments. no one else, literally for weeks its all just him and her. she keeps telling me to leave him alone and get a life, but its weird, because its on fb and she and i never met- she couldn't have found me by my name because its not in my real name and he and i were never friends on his facebook, so theres no way to find me. in fact him and i share no friends at all in common for any of them to find me. i don't get it. i know i was out of line calling her- i know. i got so pissed when i seen a picture of a guy from behind on her page, in his clothes on a go kart at the place he said he was taking me. i shouldn't have gotten into his fb, but after doubt and changes in his behavior, i freaked. but it looks like him, cant see face, but same clothes and body frame. exact same.
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