A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I am currently seeing a guy and he is exactly what i've been looking for! However, I told him a while back that I like another guy too. We was in a deep conversation and it just came out - honesty is very important to me and I thought it was only fair that he knew, if he liked someone else too I would want to know. But as a result of me telling him this, I think he feels restricted into a relationship because he thinks I will hurt him. But I would never hurt him, as my feelings are very strong towards him. Anyway, He keeps asking odd questions like how much I see of this other guy etc. It makes me feel very awkward, I feel mean for liking someone else - even if it is only a little bit. It's just that i've known and liked the other guy a long time and I often find it difficult to get over someone. I fell madly for him, but it was never returned. However, over time (especially since meeting the guy i'm currently involved with) my feelings have faded. I hardly see him anymore, so this has really helped with the process of moving on. I'm gradually getting there.But with the guy i'm currently involved with. He is all that matters to me at the moment and I really want him to trust me. He expressed that he felt a bit upset by what I told him - which made me feel incredibly guilty. He has been messed around a few times so its understandable why he is so cautious about us getting together. I will do anything to make him trust me, I just don't know what I can say or do in order for him to realise that HE is the one I truly want. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 February 2010):
It was a mistake to tell him. You are right, honesty is the best policy. But you really shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place if you had feelings for another person like this. Because now he will be paranoid that he is either second best or that if this other guy comes back into your life you will leave him. All you can do is continue to work at it. And most importantly, do not see this other guy again. You now have to cut all contact with him, otherwise your boyfriend will continue to think he's second best.
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