A
female
age
36-40,
*rista24
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend at the end of january. It was sort of getting distant in the end there and I realized he'd been sort of confused about things. I kinda was trying to end it because of how he was treating me.. our relationship didn't last that long but in spite of everything I fell head over heals in love with the guy. I now learned that he is seeing a new girl, who he started seeing a mere 5 days after we stopped dating!!! He is still seeing her and my friend that works with him is telling me that he's staying over at her house, they're sleeping together and everything. It took me a long time to do that with him. The thought of that actually made me sick to my stomach when I heard it and just SHATTERED my soul. Everyone tells me I should be over this by now, but I'm not getting over it. Can anybody be of any help? He must have either not cared, or is trying to rub it in my face with this new girl, I mean 2 weeks ago he was telling my friend that this girl's a really nice person and they like hanging out. Next thing you know he's dinking her?! It's terrible. I was even warned about him when we met he gets sick of girls fast.. but I didnt expect this! I wrote him a facebook message today about how badly he has hurt me since I heard he was sleeping with this girl, I don't even want to know for HOW long it's been going on. My friend says it doesn't necessarily mean he's commited to her. I don't know if he's blurting things out at work in front of my friend on purpose, or he just really is being honest but it seems a little dredged up.
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male
reader, Kevin33 +, writes (16 March 2009):
Hey, 5 years with her and my girlfriend moved on after 5 days. Wanted to see what else what out there and she did. People tell me hes a jerk but still. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I got through by telling myself, why would I want a person who would do this to me. So low and no heart especially after all of your memories. It obviously takes time to heal whether you are the dumper or dumpee. Whatever the case, you need to surround yourself with friends. This guy is not worthy of you. What goes around come around. And he was treating you badly, you already had help making your decision and definitely the right now. Its definitely going to hurt. You just have to keep busy and keep thinking about what I said before. How could a person do that if you meant something to them. They know what they are doing and yet dont care. He is not home worrying, so I think you should just try hard and move on. You will look back at it one day and just laugh because something better will come along. It was hard for me to hear all this too because I didnt want to move on, but trust me, no more contact its the best thing for you. Thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): I agree with Johnnyboy03, some people just can't be alone. I have known men like that in the past. It's not you, it's him!
Whoever is telling you you should be over it by now doesn't know what they are talking about! It takes as long as it takes! Take your time and grieve through it. When you are ready to move on you will! In the meantime, take care of yourself! Make some changes in your life. Things to make you feel good about yourself!
I am truly sorry for your pain! You will work through this and learn to love again! I promise!
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A
male
reader, artian  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Your Soul has been around for thousands of years, it will not shatter that easily! What has shattered is your concept if the relationship. It's just a concept! It's just the way you were thinking and that will most definitely change. The pain is just that concept breaking away to reveal a wiser more humble one. It's sunny and we feel the warmth. It gets dark and we feel the cold and sometimes scared but the sun will rise again!The cycle of life and feelings.
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A
male
reader, Johnnyboy03  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 It's hard when a significant other moves on quickly. There is really nothing you can do about it. Just know it has nothing to do with you. Some people just aren't good at being alone.I'm sure he did care about you when you were together. Sometimes you just need to write, or talk about things to get it all out.
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