A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey im sorry if this wastes your time but i have a weird situation with a guy mate of mine. For the past nearly two years ive always felt like i get treated differently from the others. I wouldnt say always in a bad way but its definately not good. People(three of our mates) did start saying things when we were all at college together. They would just wind the situation up if me and him went out for a night out with our other friends or if i went out they assumed he was with me. So i always put it down to that and it didnt bother me. Back then it was very weird because the behaviour would change day to day, some days he was normal with me others he barely spoke to me even if i spoke to him. We sat together in class for a year and hardly used to talk, i always expected him to move to sit with the others but he never did.It got weirder. It was little things like if i said something funny and the whole class laughed he just didnt respond at all...if that had been anyone else that had said it he would have laughed. Little things he used to find on the computer when he was bored that were funny he;d show everyone but me(even over msn) So for that period of time i just left it and continued to hope it would get better.Obviously we dont see each other as much now but we still do however im the one that has to text him to come on a night out or if we speak online im the one that has to start the convo. Hes never really spoke to me first except afew times after we'd been out, once he just asked me if i liked the night, another time was asking if i got home safely and then talk about the night, and the other there was never a reason. He does talk back abit more online now however if it goes dead i have to start it back up.We still arent great when we do meet up. Sometimes we;re so unbelievably good that i just dont understand whats happening, hes like he is with anyone else(girls and boys)we have fun and everything, other times we arent great but he seems to make an effort to talk to me more and then other times it like it was when we met alone. He was up for going(however he did ask someone else to come but they couldnt), but he was still up for it, he turned up seemed pretty pleased to see me, fom the minute he asked how i'd been n i asked him that was it.. for about 10mins after that we spoke about stff but once that subject had ended we both just didnt know what to say. And in situations where we ae together in person he has to start the conversation half the time because im generally shy and dont always know what to say. I do before hand but come to the time and i have no clue. We just went for a drink, was pretty quiet just spoke about stuff although he sat thereplaying with his drinks bottle half the time, we let after afew hours started talking abit more walking home and then when we left we just hugged as normal and he said take care wont ya. So that was the example of a not so good time with him.Thing is hes one of these big headed guys that can come up wiht any situation and turn it into something funny. Hes not shy...well not really i suppose he can be, he can be abit quiet sometimes but i really dont think he lacks in confidence. However he is a very nice guy, a christan infact.Thing is before when things have got abit nasty and people have wound us up to the point where it affected us he;s said to be before(via msn) that im a great friend to him, he would never wanna loose me etc. And he reckons we ae good friends. I suppose the not talking much online is just the way he is but i dont understand why in general hes only like this with me. Anyone else hes fine with, infact a lot of people he'll start conversations on msn. I sometimes feel like its just me and i do something wrong. :(
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confidence, msn, period, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 Just ask him straight out. You'll just go round and round in your head otherwise, analysing everything he says and does. Guys can be weird, sometimes they don't even realise or think about how their behavious might make someone else feel, just casually ask him when you're alone or online, bring up the fact he's a bit hot and cold and it confuses you! I'm quite intrigued to hear more about this one :)
A
male
reader, brovers +, writes (5 December 2009):
 to me it seems he likes you more as a sister than as a friend , he may think people will say stuff if you two are to friendly, sit him down and ask him straight why he is like what he is,so then you can see where you stand good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 December 2009):
My guess is he fancies you, but doesn't know how to say it. I can't be sure, but he sounds a bit like a love sick puppy to me. Have you ever spoken to him about how he really feels about you, or why he always acts a little differently towards you? Maybe he fancies you, but is confused about how you feel so purposefully distances himself so he won't get hurt.
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